Mel Feller’s Grandpa's Tips for a successful marriage by Mel Feller

Mel Feller’s Grandpa's Tips for a successful marriage by Mel Feller

Mel Feller, who is based in both Texas and Utah, has been writing things down and before he knew it, what started out as a fun project to make his kids laugh turned into a long notebook story.  Now I want to share so my 20-year-old grandchild has some ideas even though her parents have been married a long time.

“I figured now that I have all this material, why share it with only one person when I could share it with the world and her.

Mel Feller gives quotes of wisdom scattered throughout his writings. Examples include:

Mel Feller’s Grandpa's Tips for a successful marriage

“Just think-of the billions of men in the world, your wife chose you. That is how special she thinks you are. Make it your life’s mission to prove her right.”

“Money can buy almost anything, but it cannot buy the love of a good woman.”

“Be careful what you confess to in a weak moment – women have a memory like an elephant.”

“I have no background or degree in psychology,” said Mel Feller, who does hold a master’s degree in business. “These are just my feelings from personal experience, and advice I think will foster a good relationship and a happy marriage.”

Here are six of my favorite pieces of advice as I write this:

There are some magical words that will help make a strong marriage. The first three are “I love you.” Two other words are “Thank you.” Another is, “I’m sorry.” Two other ones: “Yes, Dear.”

Remember that when you enter a marriage you are going from a single person to a team. So, instead of I, me and my, it is now we, us and ours.

If there are conflicts, a lose-lose situation is “I don’t care what happens to me as long as I destroy him or her.” A win-lose resolution is “Not only do I want to win, but I want my spouse to lose.” The goal should be a win-win situation, where both people come out feeling good. For example, let us say I want to go to a ballgame on a Saturday afternoon and she does not want to go. The win-win is, I go to the ballgame and you go shopping with your friends and let us meet up later for cocktails.

My wife asks regularly, “How does my hair look?” or “How does this blouse look?” Saying something positive is an opportunity to give a compliment and make her feel good.

A married couple develops their own language and secret code. It might be a touch, wink, sigh, voice inflection or word that has special meaning to them. It is one of the unique things about married life that forms a special bond between the couple.

To quote Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never give up.” That said, sometimes it is not possible to salvage a marriage, but at least try it before giving up on it.

I do not believe that marriage is easy, but that does not mean married couples cannot be happy, even blissful. I think staying happily married is sort of like a job. It takes effort to talk effectively, to plan dates, to be thoughtful and to make your partner feel cared for, special, important, adored, and respected. However, the key is, couples have to do these things for the right reasons. Not because they feel guilty or because it is expected, but because giving to that person is something they truly want and enjoy. There. That is my advice for my kids and grandkids.

All My Love Grandpa Mel Feller