Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant.

So… what kind of coach are you?”

I get this question a lot. Moreover, the answer is… I am a Life Coach, Executive Coach, Career Coach, and Business Coach. I coach teens, business executives, authors, artists, entrepreneurs, retired seniors, busy moms and entire organizations.

Therefore, I take being a grandfather seriously. I want a better life for my grandkids and try to show them what I learned and valued from both my dad and grandpa.

Therefore, I need to ask, what do you value in life? What shining virtues stand above time and progress? What personal qualities do you want your children and grandchildren to carry into future generations?

Maybe you have given these kind of questions a lot of thought, or maybe not. However, you should, because you can have a powerful influence on your grandchildren. This is your chance to make a difference in the next generation, to leave behind something of lasting value for those you love. This can be one of your grandest roles as a granddad.

Teach Them

Grandfathers have a special window into a child’s heart. When a dad relates to his children, there is often a struggle for control going on under the surface. He is the man in charge, the disciplinarian, and it is hard for a child to set aside that authoritative image.

However, if you can get the child alone, away from her parent’s expectations, often she can relax. She will listen better and ask more thoughtful questions, like: “Grandpa, when Daddy was seven, was he like me?” “Did he have to clean up his plate?” On the other hand, maybe, “Why did Aunt Julie get divorced?”

She is trying to learn about her world, including school, family, and relationships in general. With you, she may be more open to learn, and you can help shape her young mind.

Usually, you cannot plan these opportunities — they just happen. That is why it is good to spend lots of unstructured time with your grandchildren. You may teach something without even realizing it: something happens, you take an action, answer a question or explain something, and the child learns something new.

Listen to your grandchild. This is important because you can never do enough cultivating your grandchild’s trust. Attentive listening communicates that you are interested in him, you consider him worthwhile as a person, and his ideas are worth your time and attention.

In addition, when your teaching is guided by careful listening, there is a much greater likelihood that what you are teaching will be “on target” for him.

Tell Stories. You have lots of wisdom and life experience to draw from; you have seen a wide variety of events and changes. Even your mistakes have a positive purpose. Children can sense that you have knowledge about many different topics, and they are eager to hear about it.

Many of your stories from life have valuable lessons attached to them. Your grandchildren will learn about perseverance, loyalty, hard work, patience, sacrifice, and on and on. If you were impressed and inspired by a particular president or other leader in history, tell your grandkids about that person and what about him appealed to you.

This is not to suggest that you preach at your grandchildren or subject them to lengthy lectures. Just tell your stories in a lively, engaging way, and let the story do the teaching. Ask lots of questions to get your grandkids thinking about the values involved in your stories: “Why do you suppose my father turned down that opportunity?” “What do you think you would have done?”

Model Them

Are your actions backing up the qualities you would like to see in your grandchildren? Do you miss the days when a man’s word was his bond? What agreements or promises have you made to your grandchild, and how can you show her that it is important to keep them? It is one thing to talk about our values; it can be much more difficult to demonstrate them.

If you believe in a strong sense of family, make that clear by your words and actions. Is it important to you that the grandkids know their cousins, aunts and uncles? Extended family gatherings can be great learning and grounding times for a child. They get to watch other married couples interacting; they see and hear how different generations relate positively to one another.

What other values do you want your grandkids to pick up from you? A love for books? A positive attitude? A determination to never quit in the face of adversity? Compassion and service toward others? The ability to take care of one’s possessions?

You may be able to make a list easily, but are you modeling those characteristics? How well do you take care of the old Buick or the lawn mower? How much time do you spend reading books that will improve you? How often do you stop to help someone who is in need? How do you handle it when someone treats you unfairly?

Children are natural observers, and they can learn powerful, lasting lessons from watching a grandfather go through life with dignity, selflessness and a childlike sense of wonder.

Mel Feller Shows Why Grandsons Need a Grandfather by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Shows Why Grandsons Need a Grandfather

Mel Feller’s dynamic presence, instinctive strategic vision, and creative thinking produce effective, sustainable bottom-line results for his clients. His “Can Do” attitude generates confidence in his executive coaching clients and strategic consulting corporate clients. Throughout Mel Feller’s career, he has increased the profitability of nearly every organization with which he has worked. He has learned life lessons from a deep loving and kind grandpa, which in turn causes him to emulate his grandfather since he is now a grandfather!

Since we used to be boys, we expect to have a natural companionship with our grandsons; we may be somewhat alike, and we are likely to enjoy some of the same activities. Still, we need to be intentional about building a close connection with our grandsons and raising up young men of character. We can help give them a healthy model of what it means to be a boy, a man, a father, and even a grandfather.

Here are absolutes that boys need from their grandfathers:

A PLAN

Grandsons need a grandfather who is thinking about their future and taking action to prepare them for that future whether we are talking about tomorrow, next week, next year, or ten years from now. Financial planning is a good comparison, because our regular, consistent investments will pay rich dividends for our grandsons’ future.

We could talk about helping a grandson plan his vocational future, which is much more than grooming him to become a doctor, mechanic, computer technician or musician. You want him to have a fulfilling career that pays the bills and contributes to society.

There is his relational future talking about what to look for in a mate, discussing what it takes to make a marriage work, and having regular discussions about how he relates to the opposite sex.

Third, give some thought to supporting the other adults around him in carrying out rites of passage benchmarks along the way that help signal new levels of maturity and responsibility, and that affirm him as a beloved grandson.

In addition, I would suggest listing some skills, attitudes, and values to instill in your grandson. You might include financial stewardship, the ability to delay gratification, prayer, basic auto maintenance, thankfulness, perseverance, honesty, a work ethic, modesty, or family togetherness. Make a list, and check it from time to time as a reminder. You have heard the saying: if you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

AN EXAMPLE

Our grandsons need reference points, and usually, actions speak louder than words. Living a responsible lifestyle can affect our grandchildren and their children for generations. That is the kind of power our examples have. A grandfather’s example really encompasses all aspects of life. However, let me mention a few areas where we need to be intentional about modeling:

First is our emotions. We can help our grandsons regulate their emotions and express them in responsible ways as they watch us. Many men hide their emotions, as if they are a weakness. 

Nevertheless, our grandsons need to see our feeling side; it is a vital part of who we are. We need to learn to regulate our anger and other emotions and be a positive model.

Our grandsons also need to see an example of good husbands, especially boys who have experienced a family break-up. When we do the work to build a strong marriage the communication, the thoughtful gestures and so on that creates powerful pictures for a son.

These are events, experiences, or habits that help to activate your grandson’s faith and teach him what it means to live a life that looks out beyond himself. We can focus on three areas that are important to a son’s moral development:

Respect for authority. Recently I told a group of young women that, as they think about what they want in a husband, it’s important to ask, Does he respond to authority in a proper way? Does he respect those who are over him? Submitting to authority will help teach a grandson humility.

Spiritual vitality. Grandfathers, by your example, your son will gain an appreciation for prayer and other acts of devotion. Many fathers are absent from equipping their sons in this area, and if boys grow up without a masculine model of spiritual vitality, they may view faith as a feminine pursuit. 

However, a real man shows both compassion and strength, humility and decisiveness. Therefore, while we strive to model submission, humility and love, we also need to show our grandsons that walking by faith also requires toughness, resourcefulness, and courage.

Real-life experiences of service: memorable, life-changing events and acts of service. Help give your grandson many experiences serving others, from the family whose car has broken down on the side of the road, to the inner-city project or homeless shelter in your community, to the mission trip to a foreign country. Maybe these should be combined with rites of passage activities with your grandson.

LOVE

We need to cultivate love or responsible action toward others in our grandsons.

Good communication is vital. We grandfathers need to make communication a high priority, so we are teaching our grandsons by example and through practice. Briefly, we listen first before making our opinions known, and we do away with lectures in favor of two-way discussions. We are also open to receiving feedback, even if it is negative. These are all demonstrations of love.

The other key factor is closely related, but worth mentioning separately: showing affection. Boys with affectionate male role models develop positive self-esteem, they tend to thrive in schoolwork, and have fewer gender identity issues. So, along with those pats on the back and tousles of the hair, give your grandson a big, old-fashioned bear hug — and do it often.

Verbal affection is important as well. Positive words give grandsons confidence and belonging, and again provide a model of a man who can express love in healthy ways. We need to tell our grandsons how much they means to us, point out their positive character traits, and just say, “I love you, and I’m proud to be your grandfather.”

Mel Feller has a unique ability to relate to his clients because he came from The United States Senate, where Mel was the Chief of Staff for a United States Senator and was always meeting with prominent business people or politicians. His main love was dealing with constituents that were the grass root voters! Since founding Coaching For Success 360 In 1989, he has effectively translated that experience into results for his clients. He focuses on separating daily distractions from the real issues in order to put the executive and/or business on the right path to grow and prosper. Results are immediate, growth sustainable, and profitability long-term.

These are things that his grandfather has taught him over the many years he was still living. Mel has also tried to instill these things into his two grandsons Austin and Brandon.

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller knows that when you need advice, you ask someone who knows best. When you need life advice, you go to someone who has seen it all. Moreover, who could be better than your grandfather with 88 years of life experience under his belt?

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa

That is where Mel Feller got a lot of great advice along from his father. Even though both of them are no longer with him. He reflects often on the advice and journals on it when needed to apply and solve his own life dilemmas.

Mel also mentions that his grandfather had experienced so much in life love, loss, triumph, and failure. Moreover, through all of that he had continued to remain himself and keep people laughing right up to his death 45 years ago. When a person makes that kind of an impact, you can never forget those life lessons.

Here is part of Grandpas list of life lessons:

Always maintain a good sense of humor.

Never be too good to start at the bottom.

Exercise every single day, even when you do not feel like it.

Do not spend more money than you make.

Drink orange juice every day.

Love at first sight is not a fable.

Having a bad job is better than having no job at all.

Eat around the mold; do not go wasting food.

Your family is the most precious thing you will ever have in life.

Eat sausage every day it worked for me.

Your life is delicate, and if you neglect yourself, you will spoil.

Do not ever be afraid to be your true self.

Everyone has too many clothes. Wear what you have and quit buying more.

You must be able to forgive, even if it is difficult to do.

Save your money now and spend it later.

Love is not always easy; sometimes you have to work at it.

Find something comical in every single situation.

If you are faced with a problem, do not delay trying to figure it out. However, if there is no way to figure it out, you have to forget about it.

Make sure you are doing what you love; do not be afraid to follow those dreams you have for yourself.

Education is important, but not necessary. Life can be an education in itself.

Explore your world and stay curious.

Try not to take yourself so seriously.

Have common sense. Think about the most reasonable answer to every situation. If you do not have common sense, you are a bust.

Life is a gift that you must unwrap. It is up to you to determine if what is inside will lead you to happiness or dismay. You have the power to make that decision for yourself.

From all of these life lessons and more that Mel feller has retained and learned and put to use it has given him the ability to do what he loves every given day!

Mel Feller is one the most experienced coaches for Small Business Owners or Startups, Real Estate, Internet, Business Consultant, Investor, Speaker, Author, Grants with over 35 years and over 51,000 plus individual coaching sessions during that time. You can see why many of my clients have endorsed their results and me.

Mel Feller is wonderful in getting to know his subject and often pulls his clients into uncharted territories. His powerful intuition blended with his ability to shift perspective allows others to successfully construct and bring their ideas to light.

Mel Feller has designed a coaching program that begins with establishing a foundation for each client in clarifying personal and professional values as well as creating a long-term vision. He combines this insight with his client’s natural talents and learned skills to create a purpose/mission statement that they can use as a filter for their decision-making.

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me by Mel Feller

Mel Feller loves remember about his grandparents who were only children in the Great Depression, and they learned a lot from their own parents during that difficult time. When they first were married, they had no money at all. They were very, very poor. However, they were happy.

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant. Many of the things that he teaches and believes in comes directly from his grandparents especially his grandpa and father. They are deceased but the memories are not!

These two amazing people taught me many lessons in life how to be a good person, how to sew and so much more. I remember watching my grandfather auction off cattle and pigs. Thinking back it really amazes me how much they taught me without sitting me down. I suppose they led by example.

Of all the lessons, they taught me, some stand out more than others, of course. Here are the values I hold close to my heart, all these years later.

Don’t Waste Food

I remember going to my grandma’s house and opening the refrigerator, or what my cousins and I often called “the ongoing science experiment.” Inside, you would find containers with a tiny scoop of potatoes or a completely dried out stalk of corn. When we tried to throw them out, she would get upset and tell us we could still eat it, which we never let her do, by the way. Still, it served as a lesson. Do not throw things out immediately, save it or have it for dinner the next night.

When it comes to food, make sure you only purchase what you will eat. That way you will waste much less.

Know Your Wants Versus Needs

The needs in your life include food, clothing, shelter and utilities like water and power. Your wants are different. You want a cell phone, but you do not need it.

When we learn to identify our wants and needs, we become wiser about how we spend money. We hold onto it and get what we need. We also allow ourselves the occasional want but not until our needs have been met. Learning to identify your wants vs. your needs is a crucial step in financial planning.

Pay With Cash

Unfortunately, I forgot this lesson when I was younger. Because of using credit unwisely, I was overwhelmed with debt. I then got married, and my wife and I built up more debt and had to dig ourselves out of the hole again.

During the time we were paying it off, we switched back to using cash for everything. As a result, we gained better control of our money, because it really made us think about how we spent. We did not just rush out and get things because we could.

Looking back, I recall my grandparents always using cash, too. In fact, they did not even own a credit card. It was not that they could not get one, they just decided not to. They said if they could not pay for something with cash, then they did not need it. Not sure where your finances stand? You can view two of your credit scores free on Credit.com.

Though they were not rich, when they retired, they lived comfortably. They had been wise enough with their spending that they were able to enjoy their retirement. In fact, my grandmother supported herself for many years until she got too ill and had to enter a nursing home.

Find Joy in Simple Things

When you ask people what makes them happy, some say it is their house, their car or even their gadgets. For others it could be the expensive handbag or new watch they purchased.

When you asked my grandparents this question, their answers were always the same: things that were free. Playing games with the kids. Campouts in the backyard. Having joy does not mean that you own a big house. It means you find happiness in the people and things around you. Find your own joy and do not rely on things to give it to you.

Cook at Home

My grandma was an amazing cook. She owned a small cafe in the same building where my grandpa was an auctioneer.

Every Saturday, the cafe was filled with farmers from all around the area coming in for one of her amazing caramel rolls or cinnamon rolls. When an auction ended, they would stop in for a good home cooked meal followed by a slice of Grandma’s award-winning pie.

Then, after a long day of cooking for others, Grandma went home and did it again. There was always a home-cooked meal on the table for her family. She planned her meals and any shopping trips wisely so she always had what she needed to cook for her kids.

My grandparents did not eat out very often. There was a garden where they grew their own vegetables, and the chickens they raised provided eggs and meat.

While I do not have a garden or a small farm, I still cook most of our meals at home. I find it not only tastes better but also is healthier. The best benefit of all is sitting around the dinner table with my kids and having incredible conversations. I can often picture my own grandparents doing the same thing. Sharing a meal really matters.

Save for a Rainy Day

Nowadays, I do not call my savings a rainy-day fund but an emergency fund. However, the idea is the same. My grandparents always saved a bit of every dollar they made “just in case.” They never touched this money until they had to. For them, and even our family, having money set aside provides peace of mind.

Though my grandparents are both gone, the values they taught me live on. I am now taking the time to teach these to my own children. I hope that they, too, pass them along to their own kids someday. The 1930s may be in the past, but the lessons learned during that time can still resonate and work today.

Mel Feller Shares Secrets to Business Success From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Shares Secrets to Business Success From His Grandpa

Mel Feller know personally that there is nothing that can replace the wisdom of a grandpa, not even today in this day and age of computers, smart phones, and instant access to the Internet. Mel Feller shares priceless lessons that he learned from his grandfather.

There is not a day that goes by that Mel Feller does not think about his grandfather, father and brother who have passed, and as a tribute to his grandpa’s memory he wanted to share some of the nuggets his grandfather passed on to him.

Grandpa was a successful entrepreneur. He started his business, in Logan Utah over 80 years ago.

Even though he never was able to play with or learn from the ideas of Internet marketing, one thing he DID understand was business. Below are a few of the tips he shared with me in order to help me build a solid, successful business:

Being lucky is contagious. Grandpa would often tell us stories about how his successful friends and associates were the ones who were lucky in Vegas the ones who were not successful were also the ones who were not so lucky in Vegas or other areas for that matter.

This sounds a little like law of attraction, right. Except grandpa would never call it law of attraction. I think it was more like a core belief, if a core belief of yours is that you will make a lot of money, and then you will make a lot of money. If your core belief is you will struggle financially, you will struggle financially. Grandpa believed he would make a lot of money therefore not only did he have a successful business but he also made money investing in various things not to mention he also got lucky in Vegas quite often.

Being in a mastermind helps you grow your business. Except grandpa would never call it a mastermind. He would call it hanging out with his friends and associates, playing cards, talking about business and trying to gain an advantage over the other. This is also a good example of who you hang out with determines your business results.

What is even more interesting about all these stories is how this “mastermind” would self-select themselves in and out of the group. If you read between the lines and after listening to the stories over the years you start to see that his friends who hit hard-times financially and weren’t able to recover, quit hanging out with the group, but the successful ones stuck around or new successful ones would join in.

Know your strengths and use them to your advantage. Again, grandpa would never say it like that but it is what he did. For example, grandpa loved to get a deal. Especially in Wendover and Vegas. Therefore, he would often negotiate with the hotel to get a free meal or room or whatever and he would use his age to his advantage. He would stand there and hem and haw and move as slowly as he possibly could until they gave him what he wanted just to get him out of their hair and help the next person. He especially liked doing this when there was a long line behind him.

There is no question grandpa was a character. I have all sorts of stories about him, like how he used to go to Bingo games in Vegas and shout out ‘Bingo’ only to have the Bingo caller tell him ‘sir, there haven’t been enough numbers called yet for you to have Bingo.’ Grandpa would say “Oh,” then two numbers later yell Bingo out a second time. I am surprised he would make it out of those Bingo lounges intact.

In addition, he even had his girlfriend, who was 20 years younger than he was.

Nevertheless, the point here is this, my grandpa never really went in for a lot of self-development or personal development stuff, yet he still came to many of the same conclusions those disciplines teach. Mainly you need to the right mindset if you want to be successful. So take it from my grandpa — if you want to be successful, start with the obstacles and blocks in your head.

WHO IS MEL FELLER?

Mel Feller is a certified executive coach and consultant for leaders who need to achieve significant personal and organizational results.

Mel Feller’s expertise, insights and engaging style help her clients gain wisdom and clarity, which result in:

Executives who lead more effectively

Teams that seek to communicate and collaborate, and

Organizations that are aligned with business strategy

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. He brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both his coaching and consulting skills and abilities. When consulting, his focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, his focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, you will become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to your success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant

Mel Feller Illustrates the Best Life Lessons Learned From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Illustrates the Best Life Lessons Learned From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

My name is Mel Feller and I am an architect of change. I stand alongside the board and executive of a company and assist as they chart their way forward. It is scary heading into the unknown, into the often-unchartered waters of change. I know how that feels. As an independent advisor, I see clients challenged by complexity as they struggle to develop and execute relevant strategy effectively. My contribution to their enquiry is the union of my experience as a chartered Business Influencer and Real Estate transaction Engineer with a deep interest in leadership behavior and how it influences results.

Mel Feller’s dynamic presence, instinctive strategic vision, and creative thinking produce effective, sustainable bottom-line results for his clients. His “Can Do” attitude generates confidence in his executive coaching clients and strategic consulting corporate clients. Throughout Mel Feller’s career, he has increased the profitability of nearly every organization with which he has worked.

However, I can tell you that the majority of what I learned was from my grandpa. Therefore, I wrote this to share the things that I learned. Please pay attention to your grandpa if he is still alive. There is so much value to be learned and shared with the family and others just by listening to the life stories and values that our grandfathers have.

Always smile. “My grandfather always insists that you’ll attract a lot more bees with honey than with vinegar. Be sweet to others, and they’ll be just as sweet back to you.”

Never be bored. “My grandfather taught me if you feel bored, you should be working. He was a small town’s village trustee for 55+ years, retired in his 80s, then got bored and ran again.”

Food is everything. “There’s a phrase that my grandpa says literally every time I saw him that basically means ‘eat well’ in Yiddish.”

Never turn down a breath mint. “My Grandpa Samuel taught me that whether or not the person offering the mint was insinuating that I needed the mint or was just being polite, the downside to taking the mint with OK breath was nil. Whereas the downside to passing on the mint with bad breath was massive. I always take the mint, and then I don’t take it personally.”

Eat clean. “My Grandpa was all about farm to table before it was popular. His advice was to NEVER make a dish for family or friends that came out of a can especially enchilada sauce.”

Never stop learning. “In addition to being a voracious reader, my grandpa went back to school in his 70s and wrote two books.”

Take care of what you have. “I didn’t realize it as a kid, but looking back I recognize that my grandfather kept everything he owned — even items he used regularly like sneakers, swim trunks and his car in pristine condition, and they lasted and lasted because of it. I still have and use his electric leaf blower from decades ago and each time I return it to my garage I find myself taking extra care wrapping up the cord and placing it on the shelf because I know that’s exactly how he’d do it and it’s the only way it’s going to last another decade or more.”

Be a bookworm. “My grandpa taught me that if you feel sad or have nobody to talk to, read a favorite book and then have imaginary conversations with your favorite character. I passed hours that way when I was little.”

Find happiness in everything. “My grandpa taught me to find joy in things no matter what. Whether he was cracking a joke or showing me his latest trinket, he always found a way to be happy, laugh and look at the bright side of things.”

“My grandpa taught me the value of family. I had wonderful Christmas dinners with family, where everyone came together and we all knew each other. Of course, he always gave heaps of love, and I loved him dearly.”

What did you learn from your grandparents? Are you passing those lessons on to your own grandchildren? I hope that you are! Life is to short.

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children

Mel Feller writes from his heart as he thinks about his four kids and his former wife. It is important to maintain a good family unit and communication with both your kids and their mother. I know personally that I still have a lot of love and respect for the mother of my children. She went through a lot to bear me four great kids and four wonderful grandchildren.

Loving fathers… love their children’s mother

Love your wife without reservation you cannot do much more for your kids than that. If you are divorced, treat your children’s mother with respect, even if it is not reciprocated. Never return disgrace with disgrace.

Love them unconditionally

Make sure that your children know you love them no matter what. Do not confuse this with permissiveness. Unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.

Grow up

I am talking about us here, not the kids. Children do not want another friend; they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions, and engages life with responsibility. Someone they can count on.

Be there

“Quality time” is fine, but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available. Make yours count.

Provide

As best, you can. Material provision can be tough when jobs are lost and tough times hit. However, you can always provide a stable home with love and affection.

Discipline

Children appreciate an even hand, balance, accountability, and love-drenched discipline. It is called consistency and, without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to grow up.

Value education

Do not just read to them; read with them. Do not just fuss about grades; get involved with their homework. Do not just talk about learning; be a hands-on advocate. Be a presence at their school by joining or starting an All Pro Dad’s Day Breakfast.

Raise them to leave

The simple goal of being a family and parenting our children does not look any more complicated than this: Raise them up well equipped to leave home and to establish faithful lives.

Teach them to take responsibility

Kids who learn how to duck responsibility and avoid cost will eventually fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.

Teach them to love this life

The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If we learn how to love this life and then give that blessing to our kids, they will be well prepared for satisfaction.

Mel Feller is a great Business, Personal Development and Real Estate expert. First in his life is his family! He loves them with all of his heart and he never goes a day without thanking God he has them in his life!

WHO IS MEL FELLER BIO AND WHAT ARE HIS SKILL SETS?

For over thirty years, Mel Feller has helped organizations create communities of excellence among their people and empowered individuals to become true leaders with the ability to actualize a vision — all through the power of communication. Mel Feller believes that important personal, social, and business problems can be effectively addressed using an active communicating methodology he developed which draws upon the client’s discipline of engaging, creative and effective communication.

Mel Feller is a certified executive coach, through Franklin Covey and Fortune Builders, and consultant for leaders who need to achieve significant personal and organizational results.

My expertise, insights and engaging style help my clients gain wisdom and clarity, which result in:

Executives who lead more effectively

Teams that seek to communicate and collaborate, and

Organizations that are aligned with business strategy

Mel Feller has three decades plus of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant.

So… what kind of coach are you?”

I get this question a lot. Moreover, the answer is… I am a Life Coach, Executive Coach, Career Coach, and Business Coach. I coach teens, business executives, authors, artists, entrepreneurs, retired seniors, busy moms and entire organizations.

“Truth telling, honesty, and candor: I loved you Mel Feller! You have so much energy and knowledge! I truly hope I get another opportunity to be coached by you. I see myself a little clearer now, and it’s not so bad.”

Lisa Mathews

“Mel Feller you added more value than we can possibly see right now. Mel Feller, you are warm, inviting, and accommodating. Thank you for coming alongside us in this transition!”

Vanessa Cavanaugh

“Mel Feller the best education session that we have attended in many years! Thank you so much — I am very excited to put everything you have taught us into practice!”

Michael Randolph

“Mr. Mel Feller, Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving a marvelous keynote at our Symposium! While we have not yet collected the official feedback, the unofficial feedback was that You Were a Hit! I heard nothing but compliments regarding your presentations. Thank you for making such a positive impact on our attendees! ”

Lyle Cunningham VP

“Mel Feller uses his humor, compassion, and direct nature to help bring out the best in me. Mel Feller is committed to helping me live…I mean, really live, life to its fullest.”

Jose Rodriguez

Mel Feller And Only Life Skills Only Grandpas Can Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller And Only Life Skills Only Grandpas Can Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller knows and has personally felt as warm and wonderful memories of grandmothers and how those memories revolve around their hugs and affection, recollections of grandpas often center on special outings and activities and the values imparted along the way.

Mel Feller And Only Life Skills Only Grandpas Can Teach

Mel Feller has a strong belief that today’s generation may be missing some basic life skills as harried parents rush to fill kids’ free time with organized activities. Grandfathers can seize the opportunity to step in and pass on some vanishing practical skills to their grandchildren. You will model important values and create lasting memories, and what could be more important than that?

Family Fishing

Nothing embodies special times with grandpa better than a day of fishing, which involves the type of quiet and peaceful moments many kids today simply do not get enough of. For suggestions on the best equipment and techniques for junior fishers, visit the Recreational Boating and Fishing Foundation. When you and your companions are ready, start off fishing for bluegill, catfish, bass, or trout in a pond or lake on a summer morning. Then graduate to saltwater fishing, first from the surf or a pier, then onto a deep-sea party boat or even a private charter. When the kids reach an appropriate age, give them a copy of Ernest Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea” to read and discuss on a future outing when the fish are not biting.

Values modeled: Practicing catch-and-release teaches kids the sanctity of life; cooking your catch illustrates the circle of life.

Auto Mechanics

Today’s automobiles may be full of computer chips, but the underlying technology — for better or worse — remains largely unchanged from earlier models. You do not need to be a mechanical genius to be able to familiarize grandchildren with the basic workings of a car. Start by showing kids how to make an oil change or degrease a motor, all the while explaining how an internal-combustion engine works. While rotating tires, point out the brake assembly and how it operates. You can also show kids how to access parts that require routine maintenance, such as belts and air and fuel filters. In addition, do not forget to show them how to use a jack and change a tire.

Values modeled Independence and self-sufficiency. The kids will be eternally grateful if your lessons keep them from turning their car over to a mechanic every time a dashboard warning flashes and help them avoid the financial costs of automotive ignorance.

Wilderness Skills

You do not need to take grandchildren into the Rockies to teach them survival skills. Even if you are not an outdoors enthusiast, taking your grandchildren camping in a national or state park will give those cherished memories and potentially life-saving skills. Start with lessons in campfire building and tent making. To show kids what to eat in the woods, stay near areas where you can forage for wild fruits and berries or track small game. Schedule overnights in different seasons to teach them how to protect themselves from the elements year-round. In addition, always remind kids of critical safety tips.

Values modeled: Appreciation and respect for nature can round out video-game-obsessed children. Quiet time outdoors can stimulate soulful reflection they will never find in front of a screen.

Carpentry Lessons

At minimum, teaching boys and girls basic carpentry skills will make them comfortable with tools, but hopefully it will also give them the confidence one day to tackle all manner of home projects on their own from fixing a leaky faucet or toilet to installing hardwood floors potentially saving tens of thousands of dollars in contractor fees. If your grandchildren’s home, or yours, has a suitable backyard, start by helping the kids build a fort, however modest or grand. This Old House has ideas to get you started. The structure could serve as their first outpost away from the nest, and a monument to a sage grandfather’s guidance until that bittersweet day they outgrow it.

Values modeled: The ability to repair and reuse things are critical and more valuable than ever at a time when fewer and fewer people are able to build things by hand. These lessons can help foster the self-reliance that great Americans like Thomas Paine and Ralph Waldo Emerson once celebrated.

Mel Feller is one the most experienced coaches for Small Business Owners or Startups, Real Estate, Internet, Business Consultant, Investor, Speaker, Author, Grants with over 35 years and over 51,000 plus individual coaching sessions during that time. You can see why many of my clients have endorsed their results and me.

Mel Feller is wonderful in getting to know his subject and often pulls his clients into uncharted territories. His powerful intuition blended with his ability to shift perspective allows others to successfully construct and bring their ideas to light.

Mel Feller has designed a coaching program that begins with establishing a foundation for each client in clarifying personal and professional values as well as creating a long-term vision. He combines this insight with his client’s natural talents and learned skills to create a purpose/mission statement that they can use as a filter for their decision-making.

Nevertheless, no matter whom Mel Feller is with he still likes to add value to people’s lives. He even loves adding value to the lives of his grandkids.

Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa

Mel Feller’s supportive, paradigm shifting, and joyous coaching will forever change the way you approach challenging situations and anything that might block your ability to move forward in life. Mel Feller will help you realize your greatest potential and fully shine — in an environment that is supportive, invested, and dynamic. Experience your best self.

“The journey of looking inward becomes our greatest gift — our most profound adventure. There is no short-cut to doing this inner work, but it is so worth it. The path to peace, and success on so many levels requires deep compassion for the parts of us that feel lost or stuck. This is the foundation from which real transformation becomes exponentially powerful. The exciting part is coming to a place of feeling so truly alive and living your purpose with full strides.” — Mel Feller

That is why Mel Feller loves being a grandpa to his 4 grandkids in Utah. He has two boys and two girls. He spends as much time with them and sharing life and life skills with them every opportunity he gets!

Therefore, here are his tips:

Share your wisdom

I know that knowledge can be taught, but I have always wondered if wisdom can only be gained. I have concluded that it can be taught, but mainly by example. Fortunately, grandpas are all wise just ask us! We can play that role by setting an example and being close by when a child is in need.

Grandpas, when a child needs a listening ear, listen. After you have listened for an hour or so, a child may be open to a single sentence of your wisdom. Never make the mistake of trying to impart any more than that. It will be lost. In addition, teaching wisdom does not mean correcting. That is seldom a Grandpa’s place. When necessary, a quick “don’t do that” should suffice. I wasted many a word with my own kids trying to explain why some behavior is unacceptable.

Issues of right and wrong can and should be discussed, but it is much more effective when done in a quiet moment, after the storm has passed. An experience from your own life would be helpful in such a situation. If you ever made a similar mistake, let them know, then let them know how you learned to avoid making it again. If you never made that mistake, tell them of someone who did. If you can invent a whopper with a horrendous outcome, so much the better.

Get the kids outdoors

Kids seldom play outside anymore. Whenever possible, get your grandkids out of the house, away from the TV, the computer, and the Wii. When we were kids, we just got the neighbors together and played in the backyard. When you have the kids over, take them out in your yard and play soccer, dodge ball, tag, or kick-the-can like you used to.

If you camp or hike, take the grandkids with you. Short hikes are okay, even just to the Dairy Queen, and camping is great even in the backyard. Climb a tree or a rock with the kids, or at least give them a boost up and ooh and aah about how high they are. Walk along a stream. Skip rocks on a lake. Get them swimming in something other than a chlorinated pool. Gaze at the night sky. Find the Big Dipper. Count shooting stars. Contemplate the universe, God, and man together.

Take your grandkids on vacation and show them what mountains, forests, and seas look like. However, do not just get somewhere, experience the journey. Drive them from coast to coast or clear across Montana, Utah or Texas where they can experience wide-open spaces. Show them what nature has to offer.

Get them involved in sports

Kids may love to play sports or they may hate it. You may hate sports, too. Nevertheless, they still merit some exposure.

Kids from kindergarten up today only play “organized” sports. However, organized leagues take no childhood initiative. As a kid, I was the neighborhood organizer. I would go from house to house seeing who was available for football or baseball, so I had to develop my promotional skills.

There may be no better option to organized sports for your grandkids — they should not be left out of modern society, after all. However, you can become involved: Take them to games and practices yourself. Cheer loudly. Coach if you are able. Definitely spring for ice cream afterward.

In addition, teach sports history. Show the kids a picture of yourself in your tight-fitting basketball shorts. Tell them about your heroics. Let them know who Babe Ruth and Wilt Chamberlain were. I once saw an interview with an old man who had played basketball for James Naismith, the inventor of the game. When asked what had been the greatest change in the sport, he said it was the addition of the dribble. I still laugh at that. I would never have guessed basketball was once played without dribbling.

Share Treasured Keepsakes

I got divorced recently, and the experience reinforced a lesson I’d learned earlier: A picture is worthless until it’s seen.

I carried out boxes full of pictures, journals, notebooks, speeches, career mementos, and many other treasures. I realized my grandkids would never see these things until I was dead and my kids sorted through my stuff that is, unless I did something about it.

I am no pack rat. Aside from my photos, there are maybe three boxes of stuff I would like to keep. But what good are they if no one ever opens them? I am not saying you should litter your home with trinkets. Some grandparents overdo it and are accused by people of hoarding.

Display the things you are proud of or that impart a vision of the past — a plaque, a collage of medals, a painting, anything of yours that you would like your grandkids to see. Keep photo albums available on a prominent bookshelf or a coffee table. Your children will most assuredly look through an album featuring them, and grandkids will want to see old pictures of their parents. An album featuring grandpa and grandma as youngsters will be of special interest. Do not wait. If you do not display, you will die depreciated.

Help Them Become Good Citizens

When grandchildren are old enough (typically around 2 months) you should begin to impart your views on politics. If their parents’ ideas differ from yours, do it quietly or out of range, but if the entire family agrees, feel free to harp away on any news item, politician, or unwanted tax, are there any wanted ones?

Let yourself become known as a grandpa with strong opinions, but not a stick-in-the mud. I tell the grandkids that I have the right to complain about taxes, but I still pay them. I tell them we have an obligation to our nation to be honest and to be supportive of its laws, but that we also have methods in place to make changes when we feel it necessary.

It is okay for grandkids to know you have strong feelings on current events. Involvement in politics is patriotic. I am no activist, and I have never run for office. However, I always vote.

Create a Family Language

Every family should have a made-up language of its own, and grandpa can be the main source. In our family, squeet has replaced let us go eat, and squate means I already ate. A grown-up has become a dolt instead of an adult. Come up with your own crazy words and phrases. They will make you unique. They will help you overcome your temper. Best of all, they will make you immortal as your words are passed down from generation to generation.

Many families also have phrases parents use to see their children off to school, or off to dates, such as Remember who you are, meaning do not do anything to disgrace your family. Wanting to be original, but not having the intellect to come up with something more profound, I always said to my kids, do not hit anybody. This phrase has become the standard for my grandkids, too. Unfortunately, on days, the car was wrecked or someone got into a fight, the kids reminded me that I had not said it that day.

Make the most of being a better grandpa! You will never regret the fact that you have such great opportunities to love and be loved.

Mel Feller Personal Development Coach, Real Estate Expert and Business Mentor

Mel Feller Personal Development Coach, Real Estate Expert and Business Mentor

Like you, leadership expert and business author Mel Feller has seen the word leadership defined numerous ways over the years. Is it charisma and positive thinking? Pinstripes and red power ties? Decisiveness? Is it all about the situation? Is it meant only for the elite who rise to the top? Or, is there a different story?

With over three decades of executive coaching, speaking, and most importantly, real-life, in-the-trenches business experience, his view is radically different.  Mel Feller appreciates, and shares with listeners, that leadership is a moment-to-moment choice and not about title, tenure or position. Leadership is for everyone, every day. It is how we should live our life.

Mel Feller sometimes referred to as the “Provocateur” for his ability to stir up a group or as the “People Whisperer” for his coaching skill that brings out the best in people, is known for his practical, street-savvy style; Mel Feller's fusion of real-life stories and his conversational techniques connect with his audience at an intimate, intense and individual level.

Mel Feller has served as a senior consultant and Founder with the U.S. based Coaching For Success 360 Company for several years. He is a Certified Master Facilitator, and continues to work with the best and brightest in the leadership development field.  

The author of the bestselling, Real Estate Innovations: Ways To Invest In Real-estate and People has been shared with folks from around the globe.  

His successes include: AT&T, Qwest, Sony, Sun Microsystems, The Cheesecake Factory, The Gap, and numerous U.S. city, state and federal agencies to name a few.

Prior to his leadership efforts, Mel Feller, a business and political scientist by education and passion, was a former Chief of Staff for a United States Senator. He has served on the board of advisors for a successful Internet start-up company and various other community boards and associations.

Mel Feller Describes Things His Grandpa Taught Him by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Describes Things His Grandpa Taught Him

Some of my earliest memories are of my grandpa taking me to the park when I was little to play in the sand and play on the playground equipment. I still think of him virtually every time I see the park, in Logan, Utah, even though he passed away nearly 50 years ago.

This is not very surprising though since it was my grandpa who taught me how to enjoy nature and gave me my love for the outdoors and nature in general. In fact, he taught me a whole lot of things, and I count myself lucky to have been able to spend so much time with him when I was younger.

Grandfathers play a special role in the lives of their families, and nowhere is this truer than when it comes to their grandsons who tend to look at their grandpas with a special kind of awe and reverence.

This respect that young boys have for their grandfathers as a source of infinite wisdom means that they are often one of the greatest influences in a child’s life, which helps to explain why grandpas can teach us so many things.

With this in mind, here are some things everyone should have learned from their grandfather.

How to Dress

Although this might not always be the case, grandpas tend to be quite stylish and well dressed. Older men grew up in a much different time when it was still quite common for most every man to wear a suit.

This was true no matter what level of society one was at, as customs and standards of the time dictated that a man ought to dress well in all occasions.

I can still remember my first big family vacation when we went to visit my aunt in California when I was seven. Soon before we were set to leave for the airport, my grandpa took me into his room so we could both change into our suits.

Like many people from his generation, he always dressed in a suit when traveling as he said it was important to respect and celebrate the occasion.

Although it may seem silly to some people, this advice has stuck with me throughout my life to the point where I still always wear a suit or at least business casual when I fly no matter whether it’s for work or pleasure.

Instead, it is about taking pride in your appearance and learning how to dress for the occasion, which is something I believe many people of my generation have forgotten or were never properly taught and is something all grandpas should teach their grandsons.

The Importance of Respect

Respect is another thing that seems to be lacking a bit these days, but it was something that my grandpa stressed the importance of to me repeatedly.

He was a firm believer in the Golden Rule, i.e. treat others how you want to be treated, and he practiced this principle in all of his interactions.

No matter who he was dealing with or what kind of mood he might have been in, my grandpa would always greet people with a kind word and a smile. For him, respect meant treating everyone equally and with dignity, openness and warmth.

This type of respect means listening to others and taking in their opinions instead of being quick to judge and overly critical. My grandpa would never shy away from a debate, but he would always listen to and carefully consider the other person’s point of view even if in his heart he knew he was right.

This tied in with his idea of respect, and he felt that every person deserved to be heard just as they deserved to be treated with dignity. In fact, he believed everyone deserves respect until that person showed otherwise in a sort of innocent until proven guilty.

This type of respect is something we could definitely use more of these days, but the problem is that this level of respect is not an ingrained trait that we are born with, let alone even taught these days.

Instead, it is something children should learn at a young age and reinforced throughout their growing life. In this sense, the special bond shared between grandfathers and their grandsons makes grandfathers the ideal person to teach a child the importance and the value of respect.

The Definition of a True Leader

My grandpa was never the loudest person in the room, but he never had to be. Just as he always gave everyone respect, he also commanded tons of respect from all those who were closest to him.

Never shy to give advice, my grandpa was also careful never to intrude or try to push his opinion in any way. For him, being a strong leader was not about being loud, boisterous or demanding. Rather it was about always being there for people and treating everyone with honesty and respect.

The best leaders are the ones who know when to take charge, but also know when their help is not needed or wanted. By the same token, leaders need to let people make their own mistakes as this is the only way people truly learn.

I was lucky enough to learn this type of leadership from a young age, and it is something that I have used to help guide me to a successful career and owning my own business.

A grandfather’s unique role as the head of the family ensures that they are the ideal figure to teach young children how to be a good leader. In fact, if you think about your own life you can probably come up with numerous small examples where your grandpa showed you the right way to lead.

How to Have Fun and Enjoy Life

Above all, I remember my grandfather as someone who was never afraid to let his hair down when the occasion called for it.

Although he could be deadly serious when he needed to be, he was always ready with a good joke and could quickly have the whole room bursting with laughter.

For him, life was something that was to be enjoyed and not stressed about, and he truly believed that happiness brings good health. Even though he did not have the easiest life and always had to work hard, he tried to find opportunities in obstacles. He was also good at leaving everything behind when he was with family.

The bottom line is that everything I learned from my grandpa, this is probably the most important thing to try to enjoy life and live every day to its fullest. He used to tell me that none of us knows how long we will be here so it is important to use the time we have while we have it.

Of all the various roles that a grandpa plays in a young boy’s life, perhaps this is the biggest to teach them that life is not just about hard work, heartache and hardships.

Of course, there will be plenty of this along the way. However, there can also be a ton of good times, excitement and enjoyment for those who are willing to seek them out instead of just sitting back idly while life passes them by.

To this day, Mel Feller loves his grandpa and uses the things he was taught every day in his life. Life has not always been dealing with 52 surgeries due to staff and strep infection. He has also battled 2 types of cancer and is dealing with side effects. However, dealing with an abusive relationship with his former wife and a very nasty divorce in 2018, Mel feller is very much determined to heed the lessons taught to by his grandfather.