Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Gives Tips For Becoming a Much Better Grandpa

Mel Feller’s supportive, paradigm shifting, and joyous coaching will forever change the way you approach challenging situations and anything that might block your ability to move forward in life. Mel Feller will help you realize your greatest potential and fully shine — in an environment that is supportive, invested, and dynamic. Experience your best self.

“The journey of looking inward becomes our greatest gift — our most profound adventure. There is no short-cut to doing this inner work, but it is so worth it. The path to peace, and success on so many levels requires deep compassion for the parts of us that feel lost or stuck. This is the foundation from which real transformation becomes exponentially powerful. The exciting part is coming to a place of feeling so truly alive and living your purpose with full strides.” — Mel Feller

That is why Mel Feller loves being a grandpa to his 4 grandkids in Utah. He has two boys and two girls. He spends as much time with them and sharing life and life skills with them every opportunity he gets!

Therefore, here are his tips:

Share your wisdom

I know that knowledge can be taught, but I have always wondered if wisdom can only be gained. I have concluded that it can be taught, but mainly by example. Fortunately, grandpas are all wise just ask us! We can play that role by setting an example and being close by when a child is in need.

Grandpas, when a child needs a listening ear, listen. After you have listened for an hour or so, a child may be open to a single sentence of your wisdom. Never make the mistake of trying to impart any more than that. It will be lost. In addition, teaching wisdom does not mean correcting. That is seldom a Grandpa’s place. When necessary, a quick “don’t do that” should suffice. I wasted many a word with my own kids trying to explain why some behavior is unacceptable.

Issues of right and wrong can and should be discussed, but it is much more effective when done in a quiet moment, after the storm has passed. An experience from your own life would be helpful in such a situation. If you ever made a similar mistake, let them know, then let them know how you learned to avoid making it again. If you never made that mistake, tell them of someone who did. If you can invent a whopper with a horrendous outcome, so much the better.

Get the kids outdoors

Kids seldom play outside anymore. Whenever possible, get your grandkids out of the house, away from the TV, the computer, and the Wii. When we were kids, we just got the neighbors together and played in the backyard. When you have the kids over, take them out in your yard and play soccer, dodge ball, tag, or kick-the-can like you used to.

If you camp or hike, take the grandkids with you. Short hikes are okay, even just to the Dairy Queen, and camping is great even in the backyard. Climb a tree or a rock with the kids, or at least give them a boost up and ooh and aah about how high they are. Walk along a stream. Skip rocks on a lake. Get them swimming in something other than a chlorinated pool. Gaze at the night sky. Find the Big Dipper. Count shooting stars. Contemplate the universe, God, and man together.

Take your grandkids on vacation and show them what mountains, forests, and seas look like. However, do not just get somewhere, experience the journey. Drive them from coast to coast or clear across Montana, Utah or Texas where they can experience wide-open spaces. Show them what nature has to offer.

Get them involved in sports

Kids may love to play sports or they may hate it. You may hate sports, too. Nevertheless, they still merit some exposure.

Kids from kindergarten up today only play “organized” sports. However, organized leagues take no childhood initiative. As a kid, I was the neighborhood organizer. I would go from house to house seeing who was available for football or baseball, so I had to develop my promotional skills.

There may be no better option to organized sports for your grandkids — they should not be left out of modern society, after all. However, you can become involved: Take them to games and practices yourself. Cheer loudly. Coach if you are able. Definitely spring for ice cream afterward.

In addition, teach sports history. Show the kids a picture of yourself in your tight-fitting basketball shorts. Tell them about your heroics. Let them know who Babe Ruth and Wilt Chamberlain were. I once saw an interview with an old man who had played basketball for James Naismith, the inventor of the game. When asked what had been the greatest change in the sport, he said it was the addition of the dribble. I still laugh at that. I would never have guessed basketball was once played without dribbling.

Share Treasured Keepsakes

I got divorced recently, and the experience reinforced a lesson I’d learned earlier: A picture is worthless until it’s seen.

I carried out boxes full of pictures, journals, notebooks, speeches, career mementos, and many other treasures. I realized my grandkids would never see these things until I was dead and my kids sorted through my stuff that is, unless I did something about it.

I am no pack rat. Aside from my photos, there are maybe three boxes of stuff I would like to keep. But what good are they if no one ever opens them? I am not saying you should litter your home with trinkets. Some grandparents overdo it and are accused by people of hoarding.

Display the things you are proud of or that impart a vision of the past — a plaque, a collage of medals, a painting, anything of yours that you would like your grandkids to see. Keep photo albums available on a prominent bookshelf or a coffee table. Your children will most assuredly look through an album featuring them, and grandkids will want to see old pictures of their parents. An album featuring grandpa and grandma as youngsters will be of special interest. Do not wait. If you do not display, you will die depreciated.

Help Them Become Good Citizens

When grandchildren are old enough (typically around 2 months) you should begin to impart your views on politics. If their parents’ ideas differ from yours, do it quietly or out of range, but if the entire family agrees, feel free to harp away on any news item, politician, or unwanted tax, are there any wanted ones?

Let yourself become known as a grandpa with strong opinions, but not a stick-in-the mud. I tell the grandkids that I have the right to complain about taxes, but I still pay them. I tell them we have an obligation to our nation to be honest and to be supportive of its laws, but that we also have methods in place to make changes when we feel it necessary.

It is okay for grandkids to know you have strong feelings on current events. Involvement in politics is patriotic. I am no activist, and I have never run for office. However, I always vote.

Create a Family Language

Every family should have a made-up language of its own, and grandpa can be the main source. In our family, squeet has replaced let us go eat, and squate means I already ate. A grown-up has become a dolt instead of an adult. Come up with your own crazy words and phrases. They will make you unique. They will help you overcome your temper. Best of all, they will make you immortal as your words are passed down from generation to generation.

Many families also have phrases parents use to see their children off to school, or off to dates, such as Remember who you are, meaning do not do anything to disgrace your family. Wanting to be original, but not having the intellect to come up with something more profound, I always said to my kids, do not hit anybody. This phrase has become the standard for my grandkids, too. Unfortunately, on days, the car was wrecked or someone got into a fight, the kids reminded me that I had not said it that day.

Make the most of being a better grandpa! You will never regret the fact that you have such great opportunities to love and be loved.