A Few Things My Grandkids Should Know by Mel Feller

Mel Feller

What words of wisdom can I give this younger generation, my grandchildren? What life lessons can I tell them that will make their lives happier, more meaningful and more purposeful?

Some of my thoughts include the items I have listed here.

I Want my Grandkids to Live Life on Their Own Terms

The reason being they each of us has special gifts and talents, so embrace everything that is unique about you. As you grow up, you will come to know these talents and you will develop passions – a life purpose and goals that you want to accomplish. If you want to be a painter, then paint. If you want to be a teacher, then teach. If you want to be an entrepreneur, that do that. Decide what is important to you and do it.

I Want my Grandkids to Always Use Their Best Efforts in all They do

Whatever my grandkids decide to do, it is important that you put your whole self into it. Do not hold back on love, relationships, work and involvement in your community or vocations. Give it your all. Take the brakes off and embrace your life and all that you do. You will find that it makes life so much more fun and you will get so much more out of it.

I Want my Grandkids to Understand That No Matter What Happens to Them, They MUST Take Responsibility for It

Even if it was not your fault. Especially if it was not your fault, take responsibility for fixing it. Life has a way of bringing all of us a great deal of happiness, but it also has a way of hurting us.

No matter what has happened, it is up to you to resolve it. It is up to you to envision what should occur next and to put a plan in place to make it happen.

If you take responsibility and control, you will imagine new possibilities and design something that you do want for yourself. You will take yourself out of the past and move yourself to a better place. This will make a profound difference in your life. You will be happier with your opportunities, your support systems and your environment.

I Want my Grandkids to Be a Lifelong Learners

Always be open to learning new things. Be curious about the people, the experiences, the events and discoveries taking place in the present as well as those things that we can learn from the past. Decide to continually understand the world around you and expand your thinking and ways of doing things.

Take classes, attend lectures, read books, hang out with others who are interested in what you are. Be engaged. You will find that your life is more interesting, you will have greater opportunities and you will never ever be bored.

I Want my Grandkids to Know There are Beautiful People Everywhere

I have moved a couple of times in my life to different places. There was always a sense of sadness when I left the familiar and replaced it with the unfamiliar. It was hard saying goodbye to friends, acquaintances and support systems. It was challenging to start fresh and to meet new people.

I have learned that there are amazing people everywhere you go. People who will inspire you and with whom you will develop a close friendship. You will find people who you will love and who will love you. There are wonderful people no matter where you go. In addition, when you develop a friendship with them, it will feel like you have always known them.

There will be some people who will take some time to get to know, and others that you will be good friends with right from the start.

I Want my Grandkids to Know That Feelings Are Mutual

Someone starts to like you at the same exact moment in time that you start liking him or her.

A relationship is emotional and the feeling starts with you. It is uncanny. Something happens when you like someone. You lean into them, and you listen to them and care about them. You give the relationship energy and spirit.

I find that the moment when I warm to someone, the feeling is returned. The relationship may develop into a strong friendship or remain an acquaintance, but the feelings of mutual affection and respect will be there.

By the way, the opposite is true. Someone starts to dislike you the moment you start to lose patience with him or her or to lose interest in him or her. The whole vibration of the relationship changes and things get strained.

So, do not wait for someone else to make the first move. If you like someone, be engaged, show that you are interested and stay open to wherever the relationship brings you.

I want My Grandkids to Always Expect the Best

I want my grandkids to say yes to life and to always be open to new experiences. You may not always get what you want, but you will generally get what you expect.

I want My Grandkids to Laugh Often

Have a great sense of humor. Laughing has a healing effect on you both mentally and physically. We create so many of our problems by taking it all too seriously. Move through this life lightly, take care of yourself, create the life that you treasure and just laugh.

I want my Grandkids to Make the World a Better Place

There is so much prejudice, criticism and judgment in this world. Never do anything to add to this negativity. Use your natural gifts and talents to make the world a better place.

It is really a beautiful life – live it!

I did not even get a chance to talk about art, music, sports, hobbies, friendship, and love: all the pursuits that make life worth living. However, that is okay. No worries. We will have plenty of time to discuss those topics later. For now, here is all you need to know: Life is a journey. The destination is not important. The road trip itself matters.

Grandpas are Priceless by Mel Feller

Mel Feller believes that “Grandpas enrich and bless the lives of their grandchildren in their own unique way. They play a role that no one else can play, and in so doing fulfill a need that is vitally important to their grandkids’ well-being”.

Grandpas are different from grandmas. Way different. Equally as necessary. Grandpas may not think so because who is it that makes sure the grandkids’ birthdays are remembered? Grandma. Who is it that reminds grandpa that a grandchild’s recital is coming up? Grandma. Who is it that bakes the gingerbread cookies? Grandma. Who it is that well, you get the picture. Grandmas are good at those things and rightly so because they were made that way. Grandpas are good at other things and they were made that way as well.

Babies stop crying for grandpas

We saw this with some of our grandbabies. For example, my baby granddaughter, who is now 20 years old, could be howling then grandpa would pick her up and start talking to her and she would stop in mid howl. It has to be the fact that his voice is lower and gentle, and somehow sounds soothing to the baby. Must be that higher pitched voices do not register comfort as well. This is not a scientific study, just an over-time observation with all of my grandkids.

Grandpas play tricks

Grandkids love it when Grandpa pulls a quarter, even a nickel, out of their ears. They fully believe he has magical power. Heck, he can even pull it out of their sleeve. Better yet, he can make it disappear! If he starts this trick, he is in for it. The kids flock around him. Not only his grandkids but also their friends. They want to show off their supernatural grandpa. He needs to be equipped with an endless supply of coins. After all, he cannot possibly disappoint an adoring grandchild. Moreover, they love him for it.

What grandpas say actually matters

Maybe it is because he is not in the habit of telling the grandkids what to do as much as their grandma is. When only a few choice tidbits roll forth it may be that they are more memorable. On the other hand, maybe it is because he does not sugar coat it. He tells it like it is, in fewer words and all. That makes it stick in a kid's mind.  It reminds me of when I was speaking once at church, “Grandpa’s gone now, but the memory is solid. I said, “Grandpa caught me doing something I shouldn’t be doing. He took me aside and said, ‘Mel, before you do something ask yourself what Jesus would do if he were in your place. Then think about it. You’ll have a happy life if you do that.’” Of all the things I might have remembered from his childhood, he remembered those words from his grandpa. Grandfathers are authority figures and what they say matters.

Grandpas spoil kids with junk food

Grandmas encourage kids to eat their fruits and veggies, but grandpas do not hesitate to order hamburgers for the whole bunch. Plain and simple, he spoils them. It will not hurt them since it does not happen that often, and it may be his clever way of getting a hamburger for himself. The grandkids love it. Especially when it is followed with an ice cream cone.

Grandpas tell jokes

They enjoy sharing the funnies with the kids. Grandpas have their favorites and grandkids love it when they share and make them laugh. It shows them that life is not always serious.

Grandpas teach grandkids their specialties

Like, fishing. Especially if they are good at it. My grandson learned how to fish from their grandpa. He has a legacy of being the best angler ever. Grandpa could catch a fish when no one else could. It probably goes back to his magical powers. Not all grandpas are anglers, but they are all good at teaching their grandkids some skill, like playing ball, fixing things, carving a whistle, etc. In other words, grandpas they like to pass on what they know.

Grandpas help when the going gets tough

As grandkids grow so, do their problems. They need a little help from time to time and grandpas are good at giving it. It might be a need for $20 that grandpa seems to know about without being asked. It may be help in finding a car. When my college-student granddaughter, Rachael, needed a car, she came to grandpa for advice. She had saved the money for a used car but needed a little guidance. Nevertheless, grandpa was good at handing her a couple of thousand dollars to help. Grandpas are good at that.

Grandpas show their grandkids how to live an honorable life

They have been through enough of life’s challenges to tell the stories of their own lives in a way that inspires grandchildren to have integrity. They are good at passing on a legacy of determination, faith, and hard work. The loving way they treat the kids’ grandmother shows them that love is enduring and worth working for. Their example speaks volumes to their grandkids.

Overall, grandpas are definitely priceless in the lives of their grandchildren. Maybe today is the day you say thanks to your own grandpa, or if you are one, work at being the best you can be. Your posterity will praise you for it.

Mel Feller Websites

https://www.facebook.com/mel.feller.7

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mel-feller/

https://challengesinlife.com/

http://www.melfellersuccessstories.com/

http://www.melfeller.com/

https://melfellerbusinessblog.com/

https://www.instagram.com/mel.feller

https://twitter.com/melfeller/following

http://melfeller.brandyourself.com

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/reflections-journaling-mel-feller-mel-feller/

http://thecoachingoffice.com/testimonials.html

https://www.fortunebuilders.com/student-success-old/testimonials/page/9/

https://agrandpaslove.blogspot.com/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_zDXJgadnWwmab0PhaIkQ/videos

https://www.quora.com/search?q=mel+feller

https://www.pinterest.com/cfs360/

My Grandfather’s Lesson on Leadership by Mel Feller

When I was a child, my grandfather asked me, "Mel, between zero and nine, which number is the most powerful?" 

Leadership by Mel Feller

Without hesitation, I responded, "Nine, of course, it’s much larger. Zero is nothing."

"You are mistaken," he told me. "It is true that zero does not have any value on its own. But when you add something to it, it becomes very valuable."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You must always remember that whoever you are, you are nothing without other people. Most people, managers, leaders forget that once they become powerful. They talk down to others, and forget their role in their success. The bottom line is each of us is nothing without the contributions of others. Nevertheless, when we add their efforts to our own, the result is very powerful indeed. Nine becomes 90."

Like many older adults, my grandfather had wisdom and knowledge that I did not fully understand at the time. As is often the case in life, you do not appreciate things - or people until they are gone. My grandfather passed away many years ago, but his advice still guides me every day of my life. It seems even more prescient now that I have children of my own.

My grandfather's point was that, without others, our lives have little meaning, and our dreams and goals will go unfulfilled. If we want to move forward, we need others to help us get there to move us from zero to a bigger number. When we understand, respect, and include others in our lives, we become so much more! My grandfather's lesson was a simple one, but it continues to have a profound effect on me.

If you are having trouble resolving a challenge at work, you will never move past zero unless and until you reach out to others. Each of us needs someone to help us achieve our dreams and goals at work, home, and in our communities.

Empathy entails understanding the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of someone else putting yourself in their shoes. Without empathy, you will never move past zero. Empathy means understanding that the decisions you make every single day affect not just you when you understand that, you move from "me" to "we." In addition, when you move from "me" to "we" you open yourself up to a much more fulfilling life. You appreciate that you are a small speck in a very large ocean, regardless of your rung on the corporate - or any other - ladder. Once you understand that, you will find yourself being kinder towards others. Moreover, when you are kinder, empathetic and you can accomplish so much more!

If you are a leader in an organization, how you treat your team, suppliers, and clients is the difference between remaining at zero and becoming truly successful. The same is true if you are an elected official without your constituents, you are nothing. As a parent, your children make your family whole. The sum is so much greater than the individual parts.

My grandfather taught me that success depends on others whether you are the leader of the free world, a stay-at-home parent, or a Girl Scout leader, you can't do it alone.

Leading cannot always be measured by specific return on investment any more than long-term profitability can be measured by focusing solely on quarterly returns. However, inspiring employees, family members, and even your neighbors will make a difference. I make my living helping some of the world's best-known brands improve their processes, and I can assure you that not everything can be measured quantitatively. However, I can guarantee showing empathy towards others will always pay off.

Mel Feller Websites

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mel-feller/

https://challengesinlife.com/

http://www.melfellersuccessstories.com/

http://www.melfeller.com/

https://melfellerbusinessblog.com/

https://www.instagram.com/mel.feller

https://twitter.com/melfeller/following

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/reflections-journaling-mel-feller-mel-feller/

http://thecoachingoffice.com/testimonials.html

https://agrandpaslove.blogspot.com/

https://www.fortunebuilders.com/student-success-old/testimonials/page/9/

An Open Letter to My Granddaughter Halle Martin – Just Because I love Her! – By Mel Feller

My Dearest Halle,

It has been nine plus years since I held you in my arms at the hospital and had that extraordinary feeling that things would never be the same for our family ever again.

Mel Feller loves David and Halle Martin

I have to admit, your arrival took me completely by surprise and astonishment. I knew you would be cute. I knew you would be special. However, I never dreamed how quickly and overwhelmingly you would captivate my heart.

It did not end there. Every time I saw you, you were even more beautiful, even more precious and seemed even more cascading with joy. My heart abruptly halts when you look at me and smile with that huge, unrestrained smile of recognition. It takes so little to please you and the reward for doing so is just so great, it makes being near you a sudden pleasure.

You have such a wonderful curiosity, an interest in the world around you including the natural one. I love that you want to look at everything, and want to know the reasons things work and people do what they do. You are always looking for the best in the world and with everyone.  I hope you never lose that sense of wonderment.

It has been so amazing watching you experience new things, especially those outdoors. One of the best things about life is that you will be continually encountering new scenarios, having new experiences and learning from each of them.

In my 60 years, I have had many different life experiences and lessons of which I believe you can benefit. Therefore, I jotted down a personal, stream-of-consciousness list of how, in my view, you can live a happy, healthy and full life. Here is the list:

You are very smart and can do anything you want.

Take chances, try new things, have no regrets!

Be confident in yourself and do not ponder too much on past decisions.

Have a positive outlook. One’s optimistic attitude has a profound effect on the overall quality of his or her life. Enthusiasm does not survive in a negative atmosphere either.

Always be kind to others, even if you do not like them!

Have fun and do not take life too seriously. Laughter and nonsense wake up brain cells.

Remember that money and material things accumulated in one’s life really do not matter. What does matter is leaving a legacy of good character and taking care of people, the land and the environment.

 

You have a rich heritage and an ingrained Martin pioneer spirit. Know it, be proud of it and glean information from it! 

Keep a journal or write short stories about yourself and your experiences. No one will know what family history and events were like unless someone took the time to document it, at least from their perspective!

Always listen to your dad; he has a wealth of experiences and love for you!

Never forget, no matter what you do in this life, I will always love you, unconditionally!

Always loving you,

Papa Mel Feller

Grandpas Help Shape Who We are, from our Personalities and Passions by Mel Feller

Grandpas help shape who we are, from our personalities and passions to our skills and our sense of place in the world. Above all, they teach us what values are all about and what it takes to actually place in practice those values.

Grandpas play many roles when it comes to their grandchildren: babysitters, nurses, caregivers, playmates, friends and even substitute parents and teachers are just a few hats they can wear. Their unique position of trust allows them to help nurture and shape their grandchildren’s lives.

One of the most important things that grandpas do for their grandchildren is to spend time with them. During their time with grandpas, children learn important lessons that will remain with them all their lives. While grandpas love to shower their grandchildren with gifts and goodies, the greatest gift they give is their time; time that offers a wonderful opportunity to pass on core values, beliefs and skills to their grandchildren.

Teach Kids to Love Reading

One of the most rewarding things grandpas can do with their grandchildren is to read to them. Reading to young children improves their cognitive and language skills and improves their reading comprehension. Even before the kids learn to talk, they enjoy sitting in grandma’s lap to look at picture books. Use this special time to teach words, colors, letters and objects and tell stories about the pictures. All are ways to teach children to love books and to love reading.

Giving children books that are interesting and fun to read is also a way to encourage them. Grandpas can take the kids to the library for story time or help them choose their own books, something that busy working parents might not have time to do.

Teach Kids a Skill

Grandpas can share their knowledge of woodworking, mechanics, gardening, and sports by teaching the basics to their grandsons and granddaughters. Grandsons who make their first birdhouse or granddaughters who learn to change the oil in their first car will always remember where they learned how to do it.  It has even been fun to watch my oldest daughter Jennifer out do me in the landscaping and care of her yard!

Teach Kids about Family

Grandpas are a treasure store of family history. Grandchildren will love to hear stories about their parents as young children or about their grandparent’s lives in the “olden days”. Even very young children enjoy looking at old family photo albums, and this is a great time to tell them some family history.

My own grandchildren always loved looking at old photo albums, and still do. As they got older, they wanted to know more about the family history, and especially liked stories about their parents’ escapades.  Which frankly, I still enjoy to tell.

Teach Kids Good Values

Grandpas often spend blocks of quality time with their grandchildren, and can have a deep influence on their grandchild’s values. They can help teach their grandchildren respect for each other and for other people by listening and responding to them respectfully. They can teach their grandchildren to tell the truth and to act honorably, to be kind to other people and to animals. By their words and actions, grandpas teach their grandchildren tolerance and empathy for people who are different from themselves.

Time Flies Way TOO Fast so Teach Your Grandchildren Something Today

I have always been telling my kids that they should enjoy their children while they were young because the time went by so quickly. I never fully appreciated it until I was a grandpa, and I saw how quickly my grandchildren went from infants to college graduates.

As a grandpa, I came to understand that there is a narrow window of time to do certain things. The years that we enjoy with grandchildren while they are young are precious and fleeting, and we can make the most of this precious time by teaching our grandkids about the things we love, the things we love to do, about our values and our families. Why not teach your grandchild something special the next time you spend time together?  I know I will!

Lessons every Grandfather Should Teach Their Grandkids by Mel Feller

Mel Feller

As a grandfather, Mel Feller believes that setting a good example for your grandchildren may seem like a no-brainer; nonetheless, grandparents are able to teach some real life skills. Often grandfathers can spend more quiet time with grandkids than parents are able to.

Sitting, talking and really listening to your grandchildren as you share life lessons can make a big difference in how they live their lives and often they will listen to you when they will not listen to their parents.

Here are some lessons for life I believe are important to teach our grandkids.

Life is not easy on kids of today so empathy is a learned trait

Doing a good turn for others is a classic way to explain empathy and make a difference in your community. “Set up a regular volunteer activity so your grandchild can learn about people in need and see that he has the ability to change someone’s life for the better,” says Mel Feller.

Raking a neighbor’s leaves every week, helping to build a wheelchair ramp at a church or packing care bags for women and kids in a homeless shelter are just a few ways to start. As you work, share a time when you were in need of help or understanding. Your hard-earned experience on the receiving end of empathy makes the lesson real to your grandkids.

Teach kids to be thankful for everything so gratitude is a learned trait

“Have your grandchild thank people fully, going beyond a simple ‘thanks’, and express why they like the gift or how they’ll use it,” says Mel Feller.

Make a greater impact by reviving the ancient art of the thank-you note, still an important skill in the digital age—and help her to pen one. You could also make a point of expressing gratitude when you are together, even for the smallest pleasures like green lights on the road, beautiful sunshine, a smile at the grocery store.

Treat others, as you would want to your grandkids to be treated so respect is also a learned trait.

Talk about respecting everyone, including teachers, cashiers, store clerks, and then model it for your grandchild, insists Mel Feller.

Respect means listening carefully when someone speaks, looking that person in the eye and extending common courtesy (holding the door, offering a seat). It also covers personal property, so remind your grandchild to pick up toys so others will not trip and fall and to put the sweatshirt she borrowed from her brother in his dresser, rather than leave it on the floor. This behavior is easily be forgotten from generation to generation so bring it back when you are together.

Because you have spent a longer life learning how to deal with people, you can demonstrate the advantages that come with showing respect. Moreover, whatever you do, curb your own comments and generalizations such as ‘cops are never where you need them’ or ‘kids today don’t understand anything’. These remarks label groups unfairly.

Lying is not worth it and it will not get your grandkids anywhere so honesty is a learned trait.

Everyone has lied and regretted it so bring up a misgiving or two from your past and explain how you would have done things differently if you had known better.

Of course, it is tempting to fib here and there, but even the littlest of kids can detect an untruth. Avoiding a scary topic or whitewashing for safety reasons is bound to happen, though much of the time honesty can and should be in charge.

Teach truthfulness by sticking to your word. Kids will remember if you do not do what you promised (i.e., take them to the park after naptime and might view you as dishonest. Also, explain why honesty is important and what can happen to trust if a child is caught in a lie.

The other side of this lesson is to praise your grandkid when he admits to doing something he should not have. Covering up a mistake or bad behavior is a natural tendency, so be sure to let him know how proud you are that he came to you with the truth.