Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Asks What Values Do You as a Grandfather Teach

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant.

So… what kind of coach are you?”

I get this question a lot. Moreover, the answer is… I am a Life Coach, Executive Coach, Career Coach, and Business Coach. I coach teens, business executives, authors, artists, entrepreneurs, retired seniors, busy moms and entire organizations.

Therefore, I take being a grandfather seriously. I want a better life for my grandkids and try to show them what I learned and valued from both my dad and grandpa.

Therefore, I need to ask, what do you value in life? What shining virtues stand above time and progress? What personal qualities do you want your children and grandchildren to carry into future generations?

Maybe you have given these kind of questions a lot of thought, or maybe not. However, you should, because you can have a powerful influence on your grandchildren. This is your chance to make a difference in the next generation, to leave behind something of lasting value for those you love. This can be one of your grandest roles as a granddad.

Teach Them

Grandfathers have a special window into a child’s heart. When a dad relates to his children, there is often a struggle for control going on under the surface. He is the man in charge, the disciplinarian, and it is hard for a child to set aside that authoritative image.

However, if you can get the child alone, away from her parent’s expectations, often she can relax. She will listen better and ask more thoughtful questions, like: “Grandpa, when Daddy was seven, was he like me?” “Did he have to clean up his plate?” On the other hand, maybe, “Why did Aunt Julie get divorced?”

She is trying to learn about her world, including school, family, and relationships in general. With you, she may be more open to learn, and you can help shape her young mind.

Usually, you cannot plan these opportunities — they just happen. That is why it is good to spend lots of unstructured time with your grandchildren. You may teach something without even realizing it: something happens, you take an action, answer a question or explain something, and the child learns something new.

Listen to your grandchild. This is important because you can never do enough cultivating your grandchild’s trust. Attentive listening communicates that you are interested in him, you consider him worthwhile as a person, and his ideas are worth your time and attention.

In addition, when your teaching is guided by careful listening, there is a much greater likelihood that what you are teaching will be “on target” for him.

Tell Stories. You have lots of wisdom and life experience to draw from; you have seen a wide variety of events and changes. Even your mistakes have a positive purpose. Children can sense that you have knowledge about many different topics, and they are eager to hear about it.

Many of your stories from life have valuable lessons attached to them. Your grandchildren will learn about perseverance, loyalty, hard work, patience, sacrifice, and on and on. If you were impressed and inspired by a particular president or other leader in history, tell your grandkids about that person and what about him appealed to you.

This is not to suggest that you preach at your grandchildren or subject them to lengthy lectures. Just tell your stories in a lively, engaging way, and let the story do the teaching. Ask lots of questions to get your grandkids thinking about the values involved in your stories: “Why do you suppose my father turned down that opportunity?” “What do you think you would have done?”

Model Them

Are your actions backing up the qualities you would like to see in your grandchildren? Do you miss the days when a man’s word was his bond? What agreements or promises have you made to your grandchild, and how can you show her that it is important to keep them? It is one thing to talk about our values; it can be much more difficult to demonstrate them.

If you believe in a strong sense of family, make that clear by your words and actions. Is it important to you that the grandkids know their cousins, aunts and uncles? Extended family gatherings can be great learning and grounding times for a child. They get to watch other married couples interacting; they see and hear how different generations relate positively to one another.

What other values do you want your grandkids to pick up from you? A love for books? A positive attitude? A determination to never quit in the face of adversity? Compassion and service toward others? The ability to take care of one’s possessions?

You may be able to make a list easily, but are you modeling those characteristics? How well do you take care of the old Buick or the lawn mower? How much time do you spend reading books that will improve you? How often do you stop to help someone who is in need? How do you handle it when someone treats you unfairly?

Children are natural observers, and they can learn powerful, lasting lessons from watching a grandfather go through life with dignity, selflessness and a childlike sense of wonder.

Mel Feller Shows Why Grandsons Need a Grandfather by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Shows Why Grandsons Need a Grandfather

Mel Feller’s dynamic presence, instinctive strategic vision, and creative thinking produce effective, sustainable bottom-line results for his clients. His “Can Do” attitude generates confidence in his executive coaching clients and strategic consulting corporate clients. Throughout Mel Feller’s career, he has increased the profitability of nearly every organization with which he has worked. He has learned life lessons from a deep loving and kind grandpa, which in turn causes him to emulate his grandfather since he is now a grandfather!

Since we used to be boys, we expect to have a natural companionship with our grandsons; we may be somewhat alike, and we are likely to enjoy some of the same activities. Still, we need to be intentional about building a close connection with our grandsons and raising up young men of character. We can help give them a healthy model of what it means to be a boy, a man, a father, and even a grandfather.

Here are absolutes that boys need from their grandfathers:

A PLAN

Grandsons need a grandfather who is thinking about their future and taking action to prepare them for that future whether we are talking about tomorrow, next week, next year, or ten years from now. Financial planning is a good comparison, because our regular, consistent investments will pay rich dividends for our grandsons’ future.

We could talk about helping a grandson plan his vocational future, which is much more than grooming him to become a doctor, mechanic, computer technician or musician. You want him to have a fulfilling career that pays the bills and contributes to society.

There is his relational future talking about what to look for in a mate, discussing what it takes to make a marriage work, and having regular discussions about how he relates to the opposite sex.

Third, give some thought to supporting the other adults around him in carrying out rites of passage benchmarks along the way that help signal new levels of maturity and responsibility, and that affirm him as a beloved grandson.

In addition, I would suggest listing some skills, attitudes, and values to instill in your grandson. You might include financial stewardship, the ability to delay gratification, prayer, basic auto maintenance, thankfulness, perseverance, honesty, a work ethic, modesty, or family togetherness. Make a list, and check it from time to time as a reminder. You have heard the saying: if you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

AN EXAMPLE

Our grandsons need reference points, and usually, actions speak louder than words. Living a responsible lifestyle can affect our grandchildren and their children for generations. That is the kind of power our examples have. A grandfather’s example really encompasses all aspects of life. However, let me mention a few areas where we need to be intentional about modeling:

First is our emotions. We can help our grandsons regulate their emotions and express them in responsible ways as they watch us. Many men hide their emotions, as if they are a weakness. 

Nevertheless, our grandsons need to see our feeling side; it is a vital part of who we are. We need to learn to regulate our anger and other emotions and be a positive model.

Our grandsons also need to see an example of good husbands, especially boys who have experienced a family break-up. When we do the work to build a strong marriage the communication, the thoughtful gestures and so on that creates powerful pictures for a son.

These are events, experiences, or habits that help to activate your grandson’s faith and teach him what it means to live a life that looks out beyond himself. We can focus on three areas that are important to a son’s moral development:

Respect for authority. Recently I told a group of young women that, as they think about what they want in a husband, it’s important to ask, Does he respond to authority in a proper way? Does he respect those who are over him? Submitting to authority will help teach a grandson humility.

Spiritual vitality. Grandfathers, by your example, your son will gain an appreciation for prayer and other acts of devotion. Many fathers are absent from equipping their sons in this area, and if boys grow up without a masculine model of spiritual vitality, they may view faith as a feminine pursuit. 

However, a real man shows both compassion and strength, humility and decisiveness. Therefore, while we strive to model submission, humility and love, we also need to show our grandsons that walking by faith also requires toughness, resourcefulness, and courage.

Real-life experiences of service: memorable, life-changing events and acts of service. Help give your grandson many experiences serving others, from the family whose car has broken down on the side of the road, to the inner-city project or homeless shelter in your community, to the mission trip to a foreign country. Maybe these should be combined with rites of passage activities with your grandson.

LOVE

We need to cultivate love or responsible action toward others in our grandsons.

Good communication is vital. We grandfathers need to make communication a high priority, so we are teaching our grandsons by example and through practice. Briefly, we listen first before making our opinions known, and we do away with lectures in favor of two-way discussions. We are also open to receiving feedback, even if it is negative. These are all demonstrations of love.

The other key factor is closely related, but worth mentioning separately: showing affection. Boys with affectionate male role models develop positive self-esteem, they tend to thrive in schoolwork, and have fewer gender identity issues. So, along with those pats on the back and tousles of the hair, give your grandson a big, old-fashioned bear hug — and do it often.

Verbal affection is important as well. Positive words give grandsons confidence and belonging, and again provide a model of a man who can express love in healthy ways. We need to tell our grandsons how much they means to us, point out their positive character traits, and just say, “I love you, and I’m proud to be your grandfather.”

Mel Feller has a unique ability to relate to his clients because he came from The United States Senate, where Mel was the Chief of Staff for a United States Senator and was always meeting with prominent business people or politicians. His main love was dealing with constituents that were the grass root voters! Since founding Coaching For Success 360 In 1989, he has effectively translated that experience into results for his clients. He focuses on separating daily distractions from the real issues in order to put the executive and/or business on the right path to grow and prosper. Results are immediate, growth sustainable, and profitability long-term.

These are things that his grandfather has taught him over the many years he was still living. Mel has also tried to instill these things into his two grandsons Austin and Brandon.

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller knows that when you need advice, you ask someone who knows best. When you need life advice, you go to someone who has seen it all. Moreover, who could be better than your grandfather with 88 years of life experience under his belt?

Mel Feller Reflects on Life Lessons Learned From His Wise Grandpa

That is where Mel Feller got a lot of great advice along from his father. Even though both of them are no longer with him. He reflects often on the advice and journals on it when needed to apply and solve his own life dilemmas.

Mel also mentions that his grandfather had experienced so much in life love, loss, triumph, and failure. Moreover, through all of that he had continued to remain himself and keep people laughing right up to his death 45 years ago. When a person makes that kind of an impact, you can never forget those life lessons.

Here is part of Grandpas list of life lessons:

Always maintain a good sense of humor.

Never be too good to start at the bottom.

Exercise every single day, even when you do not feel like it.

Do not spend more money than you make.

Drink orange juice every day.

Love at first sight is not a fable.

Having a bad job is better than having no job at all.

Eat around the mold; do not go wasting food.

Your family is the most precious thing you will ever have in life.

Eat sausage every day it worked for me.

Your life is delicate, and if you neglect yourself, you will spoil.

Do not ever be afraid to be your true self.

Everyone has too many clothes. Wear what you have and quit buying more.

You must be able to forgive, even if it is difficult to do.

Save your money now and spend it later.

Love is not always easy; sometimes you have to work at it.

Find something comical in every single situation.

If you are faced with a problem, do not delay trying to figure it out. However, if there is no way to figure it out, you have to forget about it.

Make sure you are doing what you love; do not be afraid to follow those dreams you have for yourself.

Education is important, but not necessary. Life can be an education in itself.

Explore your world and stay curious.

Try not to take yourself so seriously.

Have common sense. Think about the most reasonable answer to every situation. If you do not have common sense, you are a bust.

Life is a gift that you must unwrap. It is up to you to determine if what is inside will lead you to happiness or dismay. You have the power to make that decision for yourself.

From all of these life lessons and more that Mel feller has retained and learned and put to use it has given him the ability to do what he loves every given day!

Mel Feller is one the most experienced coaches for Small Business Owners or Startups, Real Estate, Internet, Business Consultant, Investor, Speaker, Author, Grants with over 35 years and over 51,000 plus individual coaching sessions during that time. You can see why many of my clients have endorsed their results and me.

Mel Feller is wonderful in getting to know his subject and often pulls his clients into uncharted territories. His powerful intuition blended with his ability to shift perspective allows others to successfully construct and bring their ideas to light.

Mel Feller has designed a coaching program that begins with establishing a foundation for each client in clarifying personal and professional values as well as creating a long-term vision. He combines this insight with his client’s natural talents and learned skills to create a purpose/mission statement that they can use as a filter for their decision-making.

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me by Mel Feller

Mel Feller loves remember about his grandparents who were only children in the Great Depression, and they learned a lot from their own parents during that difficult time. When they first were married, they had no money at all. They were very, very poor. However, they were happy.

Mel Feller Describes The Era Money Lessons My Grandparents Taught Me

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant. Many of the things that he teaches and believes in comes directly from his grandparents especially his grandpa and father. They are deceased but the memories are not!

These two amazing people taught me many lessons in life how to be a good person, how to sew and so much more. I remember watching my grandfather auction off cattle and pigs. Thinking back it really amazes me how much they taught me without sitting me down. I suppose they led by example.

Of all the lessons, they taught me, some stand out more than others, of course. Here are the values I hold close to my heart, all these years later.

Don’t Waste Food

I remember going to my grandma’s house and opening the refrigerator, or what my cousins and I often called “the ongoing science experiment.” Inside, you would find containers with a tiny scoop of potatoes or a completely dried out stalk of corn. When we tried to throw them out, she would get upset and tell us we could still eat it, which we never let her do, by the way. Still, it served as a lesson. Do not throw things out immediately, save it or have it for dinner the next night.

When it comes to food, make sure you only purchase what you will eat. That way you will waste much less.

Know Your Wants Versus Needs

The needs in your life include food, clothing, shelter and utilities like water and power. Your wants are different. You want a cell phone, but you do not need it.

When we learn to identify our wants and needs, we become wiser about how we spend money. We hold onto it and get what we need. We also allow ourselves the occasional want but not until our needs have been met. Learning to identify your wants vs. your needs is a crucial step in financial planning.

Pay With Cash

Unfortunately, I forgot this lesson when I was younger. Because of using credit unwisely, I was overwhelmed with debt. I then got married, and my wife and I built up more debt and had to dig ourselves out of the hole again.

During the time we were paying it off, we switched back to using cash for everything. As a result, we gained better control of our money, because it really made us think about how we spent. We did not just rush out and get things because we could.

Looking back, I recall my grandparents always using cash, too. In fact, they did not even own a credit card. It was not that they could not get one, they just decided not to. They said if they could not pay for something with cash, then they did not need it. Not sure where your finances stand? You can view two of your credit scores free on Credit.com.

Though they were not rich, when they retired, they lived comfortably. They had been wise enough with their spending that they were able to enjoy their retirement. In fact, my grandmother supported herself for many years until she got too ill and had to enter a nursing home.

Find Joy in Simple Things

When you ask people what makes them happy, some say it is their house, their car or even their gadgets. For others it could be the expensive handbag or new watch they purchased.

When you asked my grandparents this question, their answers were always the same: things that were free. Playing games with the kids. Campouts in the backyard. Having joy does not mean that you own a big house. It means you find happiness in the people and things around you. Find your own joy and do not rely on things to give it to you.

Cook at Home

My grandma was an amazing cook. She owned a small cafe in the same building where my grandpa was an auctioneer.

Every Saturday, the cafe was filled with farmers from all around the area coming in for one of her amazing caramel rolls or cinnamon rolls. When an auction ended, they would stop in for a good home cooked meal followed by a slice of Grandma’s award-winning pie.

Then, after a long day of cooking for others, Grandma went home and did it again. There was always a home-cooked meal on the table for her family. She planned her meals and any shopping trips wisely so she always had what she needed to cook for her kids.

My grandparents did not eat out very often. There was a garden where they grew their own vegetables, and the chickens they raised provided eggs and meat.

While I do not have a garden or a small farm, I still cook most of our meals at home. I find it not only tastes better but also is healthier. The best benefit of all is sitting around the dinner table with my kids and having incredible conversations. I can often picture my own grandparents doing the same thing. Sharing a meal really matters.

Save for a Rainy Day

Nowadays, I do not call my savings a rainy-day fund but an emergency fund. However, the idea is the same. My grandparents always saved a bit of every dollar they made “just in case.” They never touched this money until they had to. For them, and even our family, having money set aside provides peace of mind.

Though my grandparents are both gone, the values they taught me live on. I am now taking the time to teach these to my own children. I hope that they, too, pass them along to their own kids someday. The 1930s may be in the past, but the lessons learned during that time can still resonate and work today.

Mel Feller Shares Secrets to Business Success From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Shares Secrets to Business Success From His Grandpa

Mel Feller know personally that there is nothing that can replace the wisdom of a grandpa, not even today in this day and age of computers, smart phones, and instant access to the Internet. Mel Feller shares priceless lessons that he learned from his grandfather.

There is not a day that goes by that Mel Feller does not think about his grandfather, father and brother who have passed, and as a tribute to his grandpa’s memory he wanted to share some of the nuggets his grandfather passed on to him.

Grandpa was a successful entrepreneur. He started his business, in Logan Utah over 80 years ago.

Even though he never was able to play with or learn from the ideas of Internet marketing, one thing he DID understand was business. Below are a few of the tips he shared with me in order to help me build a solid, successful business:

Being lucky is contagious. Grandpa would often tell us stories about how his successful friends and associates were the ones who were lucky in Vegas the ones who were not successful were also the ones who were not so lucky in Vegas or other areas for that matter.

This sounds a little like law of attraction, right. Except grandpa would never call it law of attraction. I think it was more like a core belief, if a core belief of yours is that you will make a lot of money, and then you will make a lot of money. If your core belief is you will struggle financially, you will struggle financially. Grandpa believed he would make a lot of money therefore not only did he have a successful business but he also made money investing in various things not to mention he also got lucky in Vegas quite often.

Being in a mastermind helps you grow your business. Except grandpa would never call it a mastermind. He would call it hanging out with his friends and associates, playing cards, talking about business and trying to gain an advantage over the other. This is also a good example of who you hang out with determines your business results.

What is even more interesting about all these stories is how this “mastermind” would self-select themselves in and out of the group. If you read between the lines and after listening to the stories over the years you start to see that his friends who hit hard-times financially and weren’t able to recover, quit hanging out with the group, but the successful ones stuck around or new successful ones would join in.

Know your strengths and use them to your advantage. Again, grandpa would never say it like that but it is what he did. For example, grandpa loved to get a deal. Especially in Wendover and Vegas. Therefore, he would often negotiate with the hotel to get a free meal or room or whatever and he would use his age to his advantage. He would stand there and hem and haw and move as slowly as he possibly could until they gave him what he wanted just to get him out of their hair and help the next person. He especially liked doing this when there was a long line behind him.

There is no question grandpa was a character. I have all sorts of stories about him, like how he used to go to Bingo games in Vegas and shout out ‘Bingo’ only to have the Bingo caller tell him ‘sir, there haven’t been enough numbers called yet for you to have Bingo.’ Grandpa would say “Oh,” then two numbers later yell Bingo out a second time. I am surprised he would make it out of those Bingo lounges intact.

In addition, he even had his girlfriend, who was 20 years younger than he was.

Nevertheless, the point here is this, my grandpa never really went in for a lot of self-development or personal development stuff, yet he still came to many of the same conclusions those disciplines teach. Mainly you need to the right mindset if you want to be successful. So take it from my grandpa — if you want to be successful, start with the obstacles and blocks in your head.

WHO IS MEL FELLER?

Mel Feller is a certified executive coach and consultant for leaders who need to achieve significant personal and organizational results.

Mel Feller’s expertise, insights and engaging style help her clients gain wisdom and clarity, which result in:

Executives who lead more effectively

Teams that seek to communicate and collaborate, and

Organizations that are aligned with business strategy

Mel Feller has over three decades of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. He brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both his coaching and consulting skills and abilities. When consulting, his focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, his focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, you will become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to your success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant

Mel Feller Illustrates the Best Life Lessons Learned From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Illustrates the Best Life Lessons Learned From His Grandpa by Mel Feller

My name is Mel Feller and I am an architect of change. I stand alongside the board and executive of a company and assist as they chart their way forward. It is scary heading into the unknown, into the often-unchartered waters of change. I know how that feels. As an independent advisor, I see clients challenged by complexity as they struggle to develop and execute relevant strategy effectively. My contribution to their enquiry is the union of my experience as a chartered Business Influencer and Real Estate transaction Engineer with a deep interest in leadership behavior and how it influences results.

Mel Feller’s dynamic presence, instinctive strategic vision, and creative thinking produce effective, sustainable bottom-line results for his clients. His “Can Do” attitude generates confidence in his executive coaching clients and strategic consulting corporate clients. Throughout Mel Feller’s career, he has increased the profitability of nearly every organization with which he has worked.

However, I can tell you that the majority of what I learned was from my grandpa. Therefore, I wrote this to share the things that I learned. Please pay attention to your grandpa if he is still alive. There is so much value to be learned and shared with the family and others just by listening to the life stories and values that our grandfathers have.

Always smile. “My grandfather always insists that you’ll attract a lot more bees with honey than with vinegar. Be sweet to others, and they’ll be just as sweet back to you.”

Never be bored. “My grandfather taught me if you feel bored, you should be working. He was a small town’s village trustee for 55+ years, retired in his 80s, then got bored and ran again.”

Food is everything. “There’s a phrase that my grandpa says literally every time I saw him that basically means ‘eat well’ in Yiddish.”

Never turn down a breath mint. “My Grandpa Samuel taught me that whether or not the person offering the mint was insinuating that I needed the mint or was just being polite, the downside to taking the mint with OK breath was nil. Whereas the downside to passing on the mint with bad breath was massive. I always take the mint, and then I don’t take it personally.”

Eat clean. “My Grandpa was all about farm to table before it was popular. His advice was to NEVER make a dish for family or friends that came out of a can especially enchilada sauce.”

Never stop learning. “In addition to being a voracious reader, my grandpa went back to school in his 70s and wrote two books.”

Take care of what you have. “I didn’t realize it as a kid, but looking back I recognize that my grandfather kept everything he owned — even items he used regularly like sneakers, swim trunks and his car in pristine condition, and they lasted and lasted because of it. I still have and use his electric leaf blower from decades ago and each time I return it to my garage I find myself taking extra care wrapping up the cord and placing it on the shelf because I know that’s exactly how he’d do it and it’s the only way it’s going to last another decade or more.”

Be a bookworm. “My grandpa taught me that if you feel sad or have nobody to talk to, read a favorite book and then have imaginary conversations with your favorite character. I passed hours that way when I was little.”

Find happiness in everything. “My grandpa taught me to find joy in things no matter what. Whether he was cracking a joke or showing me his latest trinket, he always found a way to be happy, laugh and look at the bright side of things.”

“My grandpa taught me the value of family. I had wonderful Christmas dinners with family, where everyone came together and we all knew each other. Of course, he always gave heaps of love, and I loved him dearly.”

What did you learn from your grandparents? Are you passing those lessons on to your own grandchildren? I hope that you are! Life is to short.

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Suggests Things Loving Fathers Do for Their Children

Mel Feller writes from his heart as he thinks about his four kids and his former wife. It is important to maintain a good family unit and communication with both your kids and their mother. I know personally that I still have a lot of love and respect for the mother of my children. She went through a lot to bear me four great kids and four wonderful grandchildren.

Loving fathers… love their children’s mother

Love your wife without reservation you cannot do much more for your kids than that. If you are divorced, treat your children’s mother with respect, even if it is not reciprocated. Never return disgrace with disgrace.

Love them unconditionally

Make sure that your children know you love them no matter what. Do not confuse this with permissiveness. Unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.

Grow up

I am talking about us here, not the kids. Children do not want another friend; they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions, and engages life with responsibility. Someone they can count on.

Be there

“Quality time” is fine, but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available. Make yours count.

Provide

As best, you can. Material provision can be tough when jobs are lost and tough times hit. However, you can always provide a stable home with love and affection.

Discipline

Children appreciate an even hand, balance, accountability, and love-drenched discipline. It is called consistency and, without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to grow up.

Value education

Do not just read to them; read with them. Do not just fuss about grades; get involved with their homework. Do not just talk about learning; be a hands-on advocate. Be a presence at their school by joining or starting an All Pro Dad’s Day Breakfast.

Raise them to leave

The simple goal of being a family and parenting our children does not look any more complicated than this: Raise them up well equipped to leave home and to establish faithful lives.

Teach them to take responsibility

Kids who learn how to duck responsibility and avoid cost will eventually fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.

Teach them to love this life

The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If we learn how to love this life and then give that blessing to our kids, they will be well prepared for satisfaction.

Mel Feller is a great Business, Personal Development and Real Estate expert. First in his life is his family! He loves them with all of his heart and he never goes a day without thanking God he has them in his life!

WHO IS MEL FELLER BIO AND WHAT ARE HIS SKILL SETS?

For over thirty years, Mel Feller has helped organizations create communities of excellence among their people and empowered individuals to become true leaders with the ability to actualize a vision — all through the power of communication. Mel Feller believes that important personal, social, and business problems can be effectively addressed using an active communicating methodology he developed which draws upon the client’s discipline of engaging, creative and effective communication.

Mel Feller is a certified executive coach, through Franklin Covey and Fortune Builders, and consultant for leaders who need to achieve significant personal and organizational results.

My expertise, insights and engaging style help my clients gain wisdom and clarity, which result in:

Executives who lead more effectively

Teams that seek to communicate and collaborate, and

Organizations that are aligned with business strategy

Mel Feller has three decades plus of coaching and consulting experience in diverse industries, which provides a rich framework for his organizational insights and creative solutions. I brings a thoughtful approach to his work, carefully integrating both my coaching and consulting skills and abilities. 

When consulting, my focus is on “what you are doing” (i.e., goal setting, problem solving, taking action and achieving results). When coaching, my focus is on “who you are being” (i.e., how you are leading, aligning your values and tapping your gifts). As a client, they become more consciously aware of how paying attention to — and balancing both — are critically important to their success.

When you combine Mel Feller’s keen insights and engaging style with his in-depth skills, technical certifications and broad industry experience, the result is a uniquely qualified executive coach and organizational consultant.

So… what kind of coach are you?”

I get this question a lot. Moreover, the answer is… I am a Life Coach, Executive Coach, Career Coach, and Business Coach. I coach teens, business executives, authors, artists, entrepreneurs, retired seniors, busy moms and entire organizations.

“Truth telling, honesty, and candor: I loved you Mel Feller! You have so much energy and knowledge! I truly hope I get another opportunity to be coached by you. I see myself a little clearer now, and it’s not so bad.”

Lisa Mathews

“Mel Feller you added more value than we can possibly see right now. Mel Feller, you are warm, inviting, and accommodating. Thank you for coming alongside us in this transition!”

Vanessa Cavanaugh

“Mel Feller the best education session that we have attended in many years! Thank you so much — I am very excited to put everything you have taught us into practice!”

Michael Randolph

“Mr. Mel Feller, Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving a marvelous keynote at our Symposium! While we have not yet collected the official feedback, the unofficial feedback was that You Were a Hit! I heard nothing but compliments regarding your presentations. Thank you for making such a positive impact on our attendees! ”

Lyle Cunningham VP

“Mel Feller uses his humor, compassion, and direct nature to help bring out the best in me. Mel Feller is committed to helping me live…I mean, really live, life to its fullest.”

Jose Rodriguez