Mel Feller Looks at Grandpa’s Rules

Mel Feller Looks at Grandpa’s Rules

Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching for Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching. Mel Feller a Texas- Utah Innovator and Investor. Best of all a Father and a Grandpa.

Mel Feller Looks at Grandpa’s Rules

In my grandpa’s day, it was understood that children had certain responsibilities as members of the family. They “earned” their privileges by fulfilling their responsibilities first. The idea behind this rule is that you acknowledge something the child would like to do as the second step in a process. You define the first step as a chore, action or activity that must be done before the privilege is granted.

The benefits to this approach are threefold. First, your request is very specific, and thus can be understood by your child. Second, you are acknowledging your child’s wants and needs at the same time that you are stating your wants and needs. Third, you are approaching the issue in a way that invites your child to cooperate. Here is how it works:

You may ________ after you __________.

You may play outside after you do the dishes.

You may watch a movie after you do your homework.

We will read a story after you put your pajamas on.

As soon as you scoop the cat litter, you can play your new computer game.

An added benefit to using Grandpa’s Rule is that it eliminates the need to use “fighting words.” Fighting words are those that start a battle even before the rest of the sentence is heard — words such as, you cannot, Do not, No and Stop!

Notice how the choice of words affects the feeling conveyed by these requests:

You cannot go outside until you finish your homework.

Yes, you can go outside just as soon as you finish your homework.

Do not eat that cookie until after your dinner.

Yes, you can have a cookie right after dinner.

No, you cannot go to Jimmy’s house.

You can go to Jimmy’s house on Saturday, after soccer practice.

As you can see, Grandpa’s rule allows you to use positive communication while being very specific about what you want. Moreover, the best thing is — it works!

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR, is a well-known real estate, business consultant, personal development consultant and speaker, specializing in performance, productivity, and profits. Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching For Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching, a real estate and business specific coaching company. His three books for real estate professionals are systems on how to become an exceptional sales performer. His four books in Business and Government Grants are ways to leverage and increase your business Success in both time and money! His book on Personal Development “Lies that Will Sabotage Your Success”. Mel Feller is in Texas and In Utah. However, the greatest accomplishment is being a grandpa!