Mel Feller’s Memories of His Grandfather by Mel Feller

My grandpa, Sam Feller, has had a heavy impact on my life and I am so grateful. For the most part my grandpa taught me lessons by the way he lived his life, not by his words. I believe that he must have lived so that his noble character could influence more generations.

Mel Feller Loves his grandpa

Here is a short summary of a grandfather’s lessons to his me, Mel Feller, his grandson:

Do not complain.

Grandpa was a doer, not a complainer. If he did not like the way something was or a situation, he tried to resolve it instead of endlessly talk about it. Now I am not saying he was not a talker! He could keep up with the best of them, but he was not using his words to complain. How refreshing to be around someone who rarely speaks negatively.  I will always cherish that no matter who it was, he never spoke of them negatively!

Do not criticize.

My grandpa did not sit around and discuss how people should be living their lives. He had his morals and opinions, but I rarely heard him comment on others’ decisions. It was not because he did not care, but because he understood that life treats people differently and we have the freedom to go different directions and even make our own mistakes.

When you have that attitude, people confide in you, they do not worry about receiving judgement or even what you might say behind their backs. They become their best self when they are with you, and actually probably end up wanting your approval most of all!

Be straightforward and self-controlled.

He had order and self-control in his life. To a younger person this might sound like a boring attribute, but the older I get, the more admirable and desirable it becomes. There is an endless battle of areas we need to maintain control in our lives and it seems nearly impossible: alcohol, food, work, television, sex, phones, shopping and other addictions.

To my knowledge, my grandpa tended to be the master of these things instead of their slave.

Take care of what you have.

As we traveled with my parents to see him, he would see that we, kids made a mess in our car of food and clothes and trash. Grandpa used very few words, but told me to take care of what is in my possession. He helped us clean it thoroughly inside and outside. It was so remarkable and I kept a clean car for a long as an adult.

However, it carries over into other things. Take caring of things you have like the house, appliances, electronics, tools, furniture, equipment not only prolongs their use and saves money, but it also shows your appreciation for them.

Be content with what you have.

My grandpa was not a consumer of the latest and greatest or concerned about luxury. He had a small house on in Utah. I am sure he could have upgraded if he wanted to, but he was happy with things as they were. He was not forever looking for things he was missing; he enjoyed the things he had.

He had cars for decades. He was not cheap. He would buy a new appliance or car when it was time, but only when it was time.

Avoid debt.

We had many conversations about debt. He was a firm believer in staying out of debt and paying cash for whatever he could during his life. I remember how proud of me he was when I paid off my first car. He believed it was best to live within your means and always experienced financial security because of it.

Give when you are able.

He did not hold his possessions with a tight grip. He had found a balance of being content with what he had, yet not becoming miserly. He planned financially, but was not obsessed with it. He gave freely. This was a lesson he told me he learned from his grandparents as well.

Be reliable.

He was never on time. He was 10 minutes early. He did not forget appointments or things he had agreed to. He did not cancel last minute or make excuses. He did what he said he would do. He was a man of his word.

Be open to life and learning.

In his life, my grandfather never stopped evolving I know that he changed his view on women’s roles. I saw change in him quite a bit in my own lifetime.  My grandpa never remained stuck or stagnate, always moving forward until his final days on earth. I know that I will remain open in my later years and I will keep learning and growing the way he did.

Be dedicated to your spouse.

My grandparents’ multi-generational marriage was rare. I know they had their tough times. They both openly talked about it. My grandma told me that you just have to go through it, everyone has a rough patch, but you stick it out.

The honorable characteristics that Grandpa worked for and developed gave him a long and healthy life with beautiful relationships and much earned respect. He is proof that way you live your life is powerful.